Since this is our fifth season, we thought it would be fitting to look back at the first four. Installment one: the class of 2014.
Summary:
In early 2014, the Minions put together a cycling team with Chiquita and Universal as main sponsors. The team was simply called Team Chiquita-Universal. A slapstick jersey was created, some riders were signed without actually looking at how good they were and a lot of other things we'd be laughing at right now. Our first season was a disaster. We have no clue how we didn't finish last with the shocking team we had, I mean come on we thought it was a good idea to sign Rahsaan f'ing Bahati as lead sprinter.
Highlights:
Chad Haga winning a time trial in Volta ao Algarve, our first and only win of the season, and somehow finishing fifth in the Tour of America.
Jakob Rathe finishing third in Cigar Brewing Twillight GP and thus miraculously achieving a goal.
Carter Jones winning the King of the Mountains title in Tour de Beauce, with the fact that we have to mention this as a highlight being a perfect illustration of this disastrous season.
Remembered as our first season. And it should only be remembered as our first season. Any other things regarding the team that season should be forgotton as quickly as possible.
Since this is our fifth season, we thought it would be fitting to look back at the first four. Installment one: the class of 2015.
Summary:
After a disappointing season, and only barely receiving a new license after the MGUCI complained about inactivity, we could call this the real foundation of the team as we know it today. The name was changed to Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions in order to give the single-celled yellow organisms a better name recognition, and Bikex designed a more professional jersey for us to ride in. Also important were the signing of two riders: Kinney and Martinez, who would be important in the next years. In the end we finished seventeenth, considerably better than last season but still off from where we want to be. But we did enjoy more success over the season.
Highlights:
Yasmani Martinez finishing sixth in the C1 Vuelta a Tachira.
Nick Kinney winning a stage at the Tour de Pologne
Chad Haga winning a time trial in the USA Pro Cycling Challenge, and finishing second in the GC at Tour de Slovenie.
Fabio Montenegro winning a mountain stage in the Tour of America and a decent KoM classification together with Haga.
Disappointments:
Piamonte being sacked before the season for admitting he didn't like bananas.
Not being able to loan out Haga and Selander so they could max out, and loaning out Jones to a fellow CT team where he couldn't develop, and signing and training Tolleson with the intention to make him lead sprinter while he doesn't have that ability, and signing Jeandesbosz only to transfer him for free to another team a few days later, and buying Duggan for 150k while he would be more valuable at a retirement home, and buying Santambrogio for 200k while his talents didn't merit that amount. (In short: nearly every transfer we made)
Le Montagner crashing on Benelux Challenge while he was leading the youth classification, and Martinez crashing on the Tour of Scotland where he was one of the favourites
Losing 16th place in the standings to OTP Bank after the final race.
Rankings:
#
Team
Total
1
Novatek-Panarmenian.net
1669
2
Strava
1652
3
Fablok - Dunlop
1591
17
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
735
Spoiler
#
Team
Total
1
Novatek-Panarmenian.net
1669
2
Strava
1652
3
Fablok - Dunlop
1591
4
Compal-Merida
1478
5
Indosat - ANZ
1453
6
DeLaval - Kiitokori
1440
7
Generali - Kronenbourg 1664
1250
8
In-n-Out Cycling Team Powered By Carrefour
1130
9
Netia - Norske Skog
1116
10
SanCor Cycling Team
1091
11
Alpina - Avianca
1053
12
Carlsberg - Danske Bank
998
13
Severstal-Mercator
950
14
Actavis - DKSH
931
15
Lierse SK - Pizza Ullo Cycling Team
804
16
OTP Bank - Slovnaft
761
17
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
735
18
Gatorade - SIS
689
19
BelarusBank Pro Cycling
660
20
Verkefnid Iceland
656
21
Akzonobel - Statoil
604
22
Sodexo ProCycling
442
23
Elta - Hellenic Post
405
24
Fox Sports - Golomt Cycling
403
25
Fred Whitton Race Team
399
26
Team Type 1
299
#
Name
Team
Total
1
Anthony Lavoine
Fablok - Dunlop
594
2
Maximiliano Richeze
Sancor Cycling Team
513
3
Frantisek Rabon
Novatek-Panarmenian.net
490
34
Chad Haga
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
187
Spoiler
#
Name
Team
Total
37
Yasmani Martinez
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
183
52
Nick Kinney
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
145
138
Mauro Santambrogio
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
53
163
Timothy Duggan
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
40
173
Fabio Montenegro
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
36
193
Bjorn Selander
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
26
220
Jakob Rathe
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
19
263
John Murphy
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
11
271
Taylor Tolleson
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
10
281
Maxime Le Montagner
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
8
301
Mike Friedman
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
6
310
Alex Howes
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
5
331
Sebastian Salas
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
3
346
Shaquille Sinclair
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
2
367
Mark Griffith
Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions
1
Summary:
Not bad given the squad we had, but serious improvements, especially in the transfer and race planning department, were necessary to push the team even further. But all in all this proved to be a decent foundation to build on.
Since this is our fifth season, we thought it would be fitting to look back at the first four. Installment one: the class of 2016.
Summary:
Third time's the charm, they say. Well, we had the opportunity to promote due to disbandments but chose against it, opting for a fight at the top of the Continental Tour. Due to character restrictions we had to rename to Chiquita - Universal, and we moved our HQ to sunny Guatemala. For the transfer season we decided to invest in two areas previously neglected in order to push for a promotion bid. With Drapac and Manarelli we signed two decent sprinters, and we even build a cobblestone squad with De Haes, Marcos and Matthews. Other important riders stayed, and Haga and Selander where finally loaned out to reach their full potential. This all brought us what we wanted. Fourth place and direct promotion. But unfortunately off-bike drama was the talk of the season.
Highlights:
Kenny De Haes winning the cobblestone classic Geraardsbergen-Bosberg.
Two stage wins in the Tour of the Middle East virtue of Chris Barton and Cayetano Sarmiento (pictured).
Yasmani Martinez winning a stage in USAPCC, and a stage and the GC in Tour of Southland.
Damion Drapac winning a stage and runner-up in the GC at Circulo de Juarez, and then a stage at Danmark Rundt.
Nick Kinney also winning a stage at the Danmark Rundt.
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli winning a stage in Tour de Pologne, a stage in Herald Sun Tour, and two stages in Ruta America del Sur.
Many other great result that I simply don't have room to write about.
Disappointments:
Martinez falling down in the Tour of the Middle East GC for no apparent reason.
Tareq Esmaeli handing in his contract after only being given 17 racedays.
All of our four sponsors withdrawing during the season.
Giro del Capo. Volcan de Agua Classic. Tour du Faso. Don't ever mention those races again.
Fleeing Guatemala after the local population started a bloody protest against us, and the US Intelligence Agencies trying to hunt us down.
We achieved promotion, boy I never had a bigger party than that evening. It was a great season with so many victories I had to go into rehad for alcohol problems from all the champagne. The struggle with the local population/sponsors/other enemies was scary but luckily it would end well.
Since this is our fifth season, we thought it would be fitting to look back at the first four. Installment one: the class of 2017.
Summary:
Our first season in PCT. First the background info: Tareq Esmaeli's dad turned out to be a rich oil Sheikh who not only bought the team but also build a mountain to train on. Hence the team moved to Qatar and was renamed Minions. The team needed a major makeover with only the sprinting department staying roughly the same. Úran was the major signing of the season, at a wage 0f 600k! Betancourt would become the new hilly leader and we trained him with 1.2 million bananas! Albert came in as cobblestone specialist. However, this was not enough to keep us out of the relegation fight. We spend most of the season just under the line, but one man in one race managed to pull us out: Úran in Tour of Deutschland.
Highlights:
Damion Drapac winning the Nakhon Ratchasima Trophy (I had to copy that name) and achieving our top ten goal in Veenendaal.
Kenny De Haes with three breakaway wins over the season, in De Panne, Olympia's Tour and Baltic Chain Tour (in which he finished 6th in the GC).
Bjorn Selander successfully going for the KoM jersey in PTHC Tour of Norway
Rigoberto Úran began PTHC Tour of Deutschland as one of the favourites, and proved the doubters wrong by taking the leader's jersey with one stage to go and never let go of it again.
Cayetano Sarmiento winning a stage in PTHC Volta a Portugal.
Disappointments:
Úran kinda failing in Tour of Eritrea, and then our team time trial in Tour of Vancouver costing him a possible GC podium.
Every race Betancourt participated in except Beijing and Milano - Torino.
Albert being denied a third place in PTHC Rheden GP due to uncooperative fellow escapees.
Albourdainy taking the Qatari TT NC away from Esmaeli, for which he was fired from the team.
Rankings:
#
Team
Total
1
Grieg - Eftel
3461
2
Isostar - Adriatic
3187
3
Berg Cycles
3122
20
Minions
1837
Spoiler
#
Team
Total
1
Grieg - Eftel
3461
2
Isostar - Adriatic
3187
3
Berg Cycles
3122
4
Team UBS
3056
5
Newton Foundation
2773
6
Ferrero - Samruk
2739
7
Orange Pro Cycling
2717
8
Fablok - Bank BGZ
2699
9
Indosat Ooredoo - ANZ
2612
10
SPAR - Shimano - SCG
2480
11
Eritel - Sonatrach
2472
12
Meiji - JR East
2393
13
Kraftwerk Man Machine
2375
14
Generali - EDF
2323
15
Novatek-Panarmenian.net
2049
16
Carlsberg - Danske Bank
2040
17
Lierse SK - Pizza Ullo PCTeam
1983
18
Podium Ambition
1921
19
Euskaltel
1881
20
Minions
1837
21
Netia - Vónin
1705
22
Valio - DeLaval
1600
23
MOL - OMV Petrom
1564
24
Team Ticos Air Costa Rica
1432
25
Compal-Merida
1020
26
Haute Route - Mavic
904
#
Name
Team
Total
1
Edvald Boasson Hagen
Grieg - Eftel
1504
2
Andrei Amador
Team UBS
1234
3
Tejay Van Garderen
Newton Foundation
976
12
Rigoberto Úran
Minions
705
Spoiler
#
Name
Team
Total
92
Carlos Betancourt
Minions
177
100
Damion Drapac
Minions
149
113
Kenny De Haes
Minions
131
152
Jarlinson Pantano Gómez
Minions
94
194
Yasmani Martinez
Minions
71
197
Niels Albert
Minions
70
205
Chad Haga
Minions
67
206
Bjorn Selander
Minions
64
250
Oliver Naesen
Minions
45
257
Cayetano Sarmiento
Minions
42
258
Diego Milan
Minions
42
260
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Minions
40
276
Leandro Marcos
Minions
37
297
Nick Kinney
Minions
31
364
Ethan Weiss
Minions
17
386
Salah Eddine Mraouni
Minions
15
391
Edwin Avila
Minions
14
393
Jay Major
Minions
14
441
Chris Barton
Minions
8
483
Goodnews Clifford
Minions
3
526
Tareq Esmaeli
Minions
1
529
Ahmed Albourdainy
Minions
0
550
Fabrice Jeandesbosz
Minions
0
593
Shaquille Sinclair
Minions
0
Summary:
We didn't relegate, that's the big plus. Úran is a great rider for as long as he's at his prime, which is only two more seasons. In the other departments we have to strengthen ourselves, because we can't keep relying on De Haes breakaway wins or a fluke from Drapac.
We open our season with a trip to C2, something we didn't do last year but now it's compulsory. We will be missing the unofficial PCT opener at Down Under Classic so we thought we would open our season here in Cuba, at the Clasico San Cristobal. A race we've raced back in our CT days but never really had a great result. With some restrictions applying we decided to let Selander be our leader here, his last race in that capacity was back in our first season when he was still unmaxed. Let's see how far he has developed.
During the first few kilometers a breakaway was being formed. The official race radio mentioned a Minions rider trying to reach the breakaway. However, cameras failed to registrate who it was and when we asked our riders after the race, no one raised his hand. Either the officials confused a rider with a supporting Minion along the road or a rider is too afraid to admit he wasn't good enough.
Anyway, Selander and Haga were positioned at the front on the final hill, but didn't have the punch to finish for the win, which went to Zaini. They finished 13th and 16th respectively, which puts a few points on the board in our first race of the season.
Tour Down Under, that's in the land of kanagaroos and didgeridoos. The race is a mix of flat and hilly stages, hence we brought Drapac and Quevedo. It's also the former's home race after missing out on the Down Under Classic.
The first few stages, although rated flat, were not really Drapac's cup of tea with a few hills in the route. The third stage especially, were some GC contenders managed to sneak away. Quevedo was one of them and gained a minute over the peloton, although he did not gain any bonus seconds.
The most attacking rider of the race was by far our loanee Eiking. He was featured in the breakaway on stage three, four and six. With points on offer for the mountains classification, he went for those sprint and did pretty well. He would go on to finish third in the KoM classification by the end of the race.
On the toughest fifth stage, crossing over Willunga Hill, Quevedo's legs were a bit worse and only finished 23rd on the stage, over a minute behind eventual GC winner Gautier. With the time gained on stage three it brought him to 13th place in the GC. The last stage was nearly completely flat, which meant Drapac had an opportunity to get away with a good result. He finished sixth in a closely contested sprint, his best result in the race,
#
Rider
Team
Time
1
Cyril Gautier
Valio - DeLaval
16h52'38
2
Diego Ulissi
Generali - EDF
+ 38
3
Caleb Ewan
Podium Ambition
+ 1'15
13
Xavier Quevedo
Minions
+ 2'21
77
Odd Christian Eiking
Minions
+ 7'55
81
Bjorn Selander
Minions
+ 8'03
96
Edwin Avila
Minions
+ 8'56
129
Nico Schinker
Minions
+ 12'51
130
Clenne Morvan Moulingui
Minions
+ 12'57
136
Damion Drapac
Minions
+ 15'12
145
Jay Major
Minions
+ 18'29
(3/5)
Some decent points and a good first impression.
We are racing in Qatar on a wildcard in the ProTour. This is the highest division with the greatest honour, but the competition is tough and we can't score ranking points. Nevertheless it's a nice experience for some riders and we're racing on our home crowd. Drapac is our leader for the sprints and Janse van Rensburg targets the final short time trial.
To put it short: our leaders were not capable of scoring results. Drapac either came short in the sprints or was dropped when the wind picked up. Janse van Rensburg started his epilogue at the worst possible time, during a short rain shower, and couldn't make an impact on the stage result or the general classification.
Which leaves us with gathering television time from breakaways. Major in his Bahamian tricot tried on stage two, and Lindeman tried on stage three. It would've been nice had we seen Esmaeli in national colors in the breakaway, the crowd would've gone mental, but his legs weren't good enough for such an endeavour. The best result of the race belongs to Lindeman , who finished eight, who managed to hang on after the break was caught in the final kilometer.
#
Rider
Team
Time
1
John Degenkolb
Iberia - Team Degenkolb
14h57'42
2
Sam Bewley
Moser - Sygic
+ 10
3
Bryan Coquard
Festina - Dexia
+ 12
33
Reinhardt Janse van Rensburg
Minions
+ 3'14
54
Damion Drapac
Minions
+ 3'41
78
Bert-Jan Lindeman
Minions
+ 6'46
90
Tareq Esmaeli
Minions
+ 8'07
130
Edwin Avila
Minions
+ 11'27
135
Nico Schinker
Minions
+ 12'44
176
Jay Major
Minions
+ 13'29
191
Shaquille Sinclair
Minions
+ 15'05
(3/5)
No points on our first ProTour race but a great experience nevertheless.
The Apex Mountain Classic is a new race on the calendar, and is immediately placed in the PTHC category. Last season Úran won Deutschland Tour in our highest category, and this is his only PTHC race of the season. Can he continue his streak of PTHC victories?
The startlist was a lot stronger than the race he won last year, with former GT winners at the start. The ProTour teams were not kidding around this race, as Dombrowski and Taaramae were the strongest, the former beating the latter in the sprint.
As for Úran, he did attack but only after the first few big guns. Eventually he landed in a big chasing group, in which he sprinted to 16th place. We wanted and expected more, but a top ten in Classique Pico Basilie would bring equal or more points. We should've stayed with our original plan to send him to Africa and not to Canada.
#
Rider
Team
Time
1
Joseph Dombrowski
eBuddy
6h01'18
2
Rein Taaramäe
T-Mobile
s.t.
3
Aleksandr Pluchkin
Team Popo4Ever p/b Nemiroff
+ 59
16
Rigoberto Úran
Minions
+ 3'08
52
Yasmani Martinez
Minions
+ 6'40
55
Farzad Khodayari
Minions
s.t.
60
Cayetano Sarmiento
Minions
s.t.
80
Chad Haga
Minions
+ 7'40
126
Chris Barton
Minions
+ 17'33
153
Odd Christian Eiking
Minions
+ 24'15
192
Clenne Morvan Moulingui
Minions
+ 53'04
(1/5) Úran messed up his first race last year as well, if that's any consolation.
I had a similar Apex to you - very similar! Glad to hear stage racers can recover from a bum first race
24/02/21 - kandesbunzler said “I don't drink famous people."
15/08/22 - SotD said "Your [jandal's] humour is overrated"
11/06/24 - knockout said "Winning is fine I guess. Truth be told this felt completely unimportant." [PT] Xero Racing
The first month is done, and the first rankings are published. These rankings don't provide an accurate image of the competitiveness this season because there haven't been that many racedays yet, also for other teams. At this point last year we were 23rd with 4 points out of 4 racedays. Úran currently our best scorer with 16 points from one race, Quevedo only one point behind him with his scorings from Tour Down Under
The traditional first cobblestone race of the season, and the first race for Zepuntke in our colours. The race is rated as PTHC and a lot of cobblestone legends are present. Let's see if he's as good or as bad as people say.
It would, however, be the story of our loanee Moulingui. We decided to place him in the breakaway so he could gain experience. There were some others, most notably Gaviria as strong sprinter. But with 37 kilometers to go he was riding solo, all the others were weaker apperently. Soon thereafter, he was joined by two of the best: Danny Summerhill, and former World Champion and five time Paris-Roubaix winner Sam Bewley. This created one of the iconic picture he will hang above his bed:
He did not take any turns at the front, because the other two were much stronger. He was happy enough to stay in their wheel and he held on for quite a while; only in the final few kilometers did he have to let go. Bewley outsprinted Summerhill for the win. Moulingui gave everything to stay ahead of the chasing group, which he did by less than a bike length. Clenne Morvan Moulingui takes the final spot on the podium in Omloop het Nieuwsblad. What a result!
The day after Omloop het Nieuwsblad and I don't think anyone properly recovered from the party after Moulingui's amazing result yesterday. But we have to take the saddle again today for a similair race though a few divisions down: Kuurne - Bruxelles - Kuurne. Due to quality restrictions we can't send our strongest squad hence leadership is de facto shared between these four guys: De Haes, Flaksis, Marcos and the man on fire Moulingui.
Major attempted to replicate Moulingui's race by going into the break, but he did not take into account that cobblestone isn't his favourite surface. The break as a whole was brought back by the peleton way before the end, but at least he showed his Bahamian jersey for the cameras.
All other attacks didn't work out either which meant we were heading towards a reduced bunch sprint with 50 people, all of our four leaders included. There were far better sprinters in the group than our guys, but once again Moulingui became our best finisher in 23rd. This guy is good.
The Tour of the Middle East is back! One stage in Qatar, one stage in the United Arab Emirates and the final two stages in Oman. Our only points scoring race in our home country and hence we put an official goal here: win the general classification. With the final mountain stage that's an obvious task for Úran but with a guy like Pluchkin to contend with that's a tough ask. Drapac hopes to mix it up in the sprint on the two pancake flat stages.
The first stage the Australian was in the mix but a bit too far behind to really be in the mix for a top ten. He crossed the line in eleventh. The next stage he was positioned much better but couldn't compete against the Carlsberg leadout train which guided Appollonio to a comfortable victory. Behind them though he was the best of the rest and finished second on the stage. Unfortunately he had to abandon on the next stage but Drapac can look back on a nice race.
Onto stages three and four. Esmaeli featured in the break on both Oman stages and would finish fourth in the KoM classification. The hilly third stage was all about damage limitation for Úran, which he managed to do. Kudus won over 90 seconds on him but most other rivals finished around the same time or even behind him. Pluchkin lost twenty seconds! On the next mountain stage Kudus and Pluchkin went away and the rest never saw the back of them, but Úran did really well to finish fourth on the stage behind those two and a surviving breakaway member. This result was enough to take third overall! Our win goal failed but given the circumstances we think this was the best result he could have achieved.
#
Rider
Team
Time
1
Merhawi Kudus
Repsol - Netflix
17h37'26
2
Aleksandr Pluchkin
Team Popo4Ever p/b Nemiroff
+ 1'22
3
Rigoberto Úran
Minions
+ 3'17
31
Yasmani Martinez
Minions
+ 17'46
36
Farzad Khodayari
Minions
+ 19'33
52
Chad Haga
Minions
+ 26'30
61
Tareq Esmaeli
Minions
+ 29'04
85
Cayetano Sarmiento
Minions
+ 39'37
127
Edwin Avila
Minions
+ 1h03'52
DNF
Damion Drapac
Minions
(4/5)
A very good race except for not achieving our goal.
Another classic on the rough Belgian roads, this time we ride from Gent to Wevelgem via a detour. Zepuntke got off to a rocky start and is looking to do better this time. Or can we go for another breakaway success story like Moulingui.
The Gabonese was mentioned to have attempted to ride away with a group but was caught in the early stages and another group took the credits as morning breakaway. They were caught well before the end as well so even if Moulingui had been in it, he would likely haven't replicated his heroic Omloop ride.
As for Zepuntke, he chose not to follow the five million seven hundred twenty-six thousand four hundred thirty-eight attacks by Baugnies, but when he placed the five million seven hundred twenty-six thousand four hundred thirty-ninth other people followed him, and Zepuntke didn't, which turned out to be the wrong move. He crossed the line two minutes behind winner Thomas in fifteenth place.
Luckily Uran means you don't desperately need ze punkte yet... but hopefully that Minions fighting spirit can deliver some extra results (Moulingui with an absolutely stunning Omloop podium is an absolutely amazing start!) and Zepuntke can improve a bit
Seriously that Moulingui break was amazing in any field, but PTHC that's huge
24/02/21 - kandesbunzler said “I don't drink famous people."
15/08/22 - SotD said "Your [jandal's] humour is overrated"
11/06/24 - knockout said "Winning is fine I guess. Truth be told this felt completely unimportant." [PT] Xero Racing
Tareq Esmaeli
Farzad Khodayari
Clenne Morvan Moulingui
Australia | C1 | 6 stages | Flat / Hill | January 14 - 19
Jay Major
Xavier Quevedo
Nico Schinker
Reinhardt Janse van Rensburg
Bert-Jan Lindeman
Shaquille Sinclair
Canada | PTHC | Classic | Mountain | January 28
Oman / 
UAE | HC | 4 stages | Flat / Mountain | February 5 - 8
Ireland | C1 | 3 stages | Flat | February 10 - 12
Spain | C1 | 6 stages | Mountain / Time trial | February 18 - 23
Hong Kong | C2 | 3 stages | Mountain / Time trial | February 25 - 27
