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[PT] Bouygues Telecom
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| Crommy |
Posted on 07-04-2012 13:42
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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CountArach wrote:
Your team page ia amazing. Always good for a laugh.
I'd like to attribute that to my writing style. But sadly, when you send Theo Bos as a team leader to a grand tour, it's because your team is a joke 
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| CountArach |
Posted on 07-04-2012 13:43
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Grand Tour Champion
Posts: 8290
Joined: 14-07-2008
PCM$: 200.00
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Oh yeah, it was definitely laughing *at* you 
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-04-2012 23:20
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Copenhagen - Malmo TTT - Even I'm sometimes astonished at how bad we are
Squad:
61. K. Peeters
62. B. Curfs
63. T. Gallopin
64. M. Kneisky
65. G. Levarlet
66. C. Lhotellerie
67. J. Suaza
68. S. Vandousselaere
The move from Eindhoven to Scandinavia of the annual ProTour TTT did absolutely nothing to improve the team's fortunes, but did wonders to improve what is now known as the Carmeuse annual pre-Tour piss-up, as I know some lovely girls in Copenhagen who can do incredible things. For the right price.
We came...do you know what, I don't even care. We didn't come anywhere worth writing home about. Now if only I had a home to write to. Or someone to write to. Anyone?
Notable Performances:
You've got to be kidding, right?
||LINK TO RACE||
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| Crommy |
Posted on 11-04-2012 11:12
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Classique de Grand Duche - Lorem ipsum
Squad:
151. G. Levarlet
152. A. Aulas
153. R. Di Gregorio
154. J. El Fares
155. T. Gallopin
156. C. Lhotellerie
157. J. Libert
158. S. Vandousselaere
Levarlet attacked, Levarlet failed miserably. Welcome to the world of being the Carmeuse - Bouygues Teelcom DS.
Notable Performances:
None. You may be noticing a trend forming
||LINK TO RACE||
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-06-2012 12:21
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Tour de France - Fortune Favours the Sane
Squad:
121. R. Taaramäe
122. S. Caethoven
123. JF. Camier
124. F. Cancellara
125. R. Di Gregorio
126. J. El Fares
127. J. Libert
128. O. Solis
129. J. Suaza
This was, as they say, it. With relegation looming, it was make or break time for the team, especially for million euro man Rein Taaramae. One little event spoiled everything however. The manager's questionable sanity probably didn't help either.
Stage 1: The manager sent Cancellara on a suicidal attack with 58km to go. It failed miserably, but somehow Spartacus managed to take 4th in the bunch sprint
Stage 2: The manager sent Cancellara on a suicidal attack with 52km to go. It failed miserably. Oscar Solis decided to go strawberry picking halfway through the stage, and finished outside the time limit.
Stage 3: 28km of time trialling, and Fabian produced a stunning ride to take 2nd (and go 3rd on GC). Rein was looking in great nick, coming in 10th, also sitting 10th in GC.
Stage 4: Rein loses 45 seconds to stage winner Yuri Trofimov other some hills, but still finishes with his main rivals, moving up to 9th on GC.
Stage 5: The manager sent Cancellara on a suicidal attack with 33km to go. It failed miserably.
Stage 6: And this was where our fortunes changed drastically. Rein was involved in a mass pile-up, and slipped down to 18th in GC. He also picked up a lot of aches and pains, from which he would struggle to recover
Stage 7: A mountain top finish is exactly what you want the day after a crash. Rein haemorrhaged time, losing over 5 minutes, and a top 10 looked hopeless now. It was.
Stage 8: The manager sent Cancellara on a suicidal attack with 15km to go. It failed miserably. But somehow, Cancellara took 3rd in the bunch sprint!
Stage 9: Julien El Fares joined the BOTD, Julien El Fares stayed away! But only to 3rd, because two of his breakaway companions beat him. Cancellara won the bunch sprint. Hilarious!
Stage 10+11: Rein battled hard, but still struggled. Managed to moe up to 17 on GC though
Stage 12+13: The manager sent Cancellara on a suicidal attack with 20km to go. It failed miserably.
Stage 14-16: Rein started to feel better, gaining some time on some serious contenders, moving up to 16 on GC. That would be the limit of his achievements though
Stage 17: Suaza broke away halfway through the stage and managed a credible 7th. Rein lost more time, held onto his GC place though
Stage 20: Fabian's constant suicidal attacks caught up with him, as he only managed 10th in this time trial
Conclusions: hello CT Tour 
Notable Performances:
Stage 3: 2nd Fabian Cancellara
Stage 8: 3rd Fabian Cancellara
Stage 9: 3rd Julien El Fares
16th Rein Taaramae @ 21'13
U25: 6th Rein Taaramae @19'30
||LINK TO RACE||
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| Crommy |
Posted on 08-10-2012 16:21
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Post Tour Classics - Making mediocrity look unobtainable
Squads:
Seine - Marne - Seine
161. A. Aulas
162. J. El Fares
163. T. Gallopin
164. P. Jacobs
165. G. Levarlet
166. C. Lhotellerie
167. J. Libert
168. S. Vandousselaere
Vattenfall Classic:
51. J. Roelandts
52. A. Aulas
53. S. Caethoven
54. P. Jacobs
55. M. Kneisky
56. C. Lhotellerie
57. K. Peeters
58. S. Vandousselaere
GP Liechtenstein:
161. J. Suaza
162. JF. Camier
163. B. Curfs
164. R. Di Gregorio
165. J. El Fares
166. G. Levarlet
167. J. Libert
168. O. Solis
We came, we saw, we failed to anything of note!.
Notable Performances:
9th: Morgan Kneisky (VC)
19th: Guillaume Levarlet (SMS)
23rd: Oscar Solis (GPL)
||LINK TO Seine Marne Seine||
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| Ad Bot |
Posted on 25-11-2024 08:59
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Bot Agent
Posts: Countless
Joined: 23.11.09
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| IP: None |
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| Crommy |
Posted on 08-10-2012 16:21
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Vuelta a Colombia - A pretty new jersey
Squad:
61. R. Taaramäe
62. B. Curfs
63. R. Di Gregorio
64. G. Levarlet
65. J. Libert
66. O. Solis
67. J. Suaza
68. W. Weylandt
We brought a climbing-heavily squad here, to be lead by Rein, but ably supported by our contingent of loyal South Americans.
In terms of stage hunting, we were certainly not short of trying. Several podiums, several top 10s, but no stage win.
Rein was poor. Again.
We got our first jersey of the year though: Oscar Solis was the King of the Mountains, and there was much rejoicing!
Notable Performances:
9th: Rein Taaramae @ 6'05
15th: Jaime Suaza @ 13'36
KOM: 1st: Oscar Solis
||LINK TO RACE||
Edited by Crommy on 10-10-2012 17:36
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-10-2012 17:50
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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FBD Eire Tour - Meeting expectations
Squad:
141. G. Levarlet
142. S. Caethoven
143. B. Curfs
144. R. Di Gregorio
145. J. El Fares
146. C. Lhotellerie
147. J. Libert
148. W. Weylandt
The team came with no expectations. Those expectations were met. Just.
Notable Performances:
30th: Guillaume Levarlet @ 4'34
||LINK TO RACE||
Edited by Crommy on 10-10-2012 17:52
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-10-2012 17:51
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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Tour of Northern Europe - This is, as they say, it
Squad:
1. F. Cancellara
2. A. Aulas
3. T. Gallopin
4. P. Jacobs
5. M. Kneisky
6. C. Lhotellerie
7. S. Vandousselaere
8. W. Weylandt
As last year's winner, and pre-race favourite, the team's survival in the ProTour depended almost entirely on Fabian taking victory here.
He did not.
The hills of stage 1 caused him to hemorrhage time, losing 3 and a half minutes.
Stage 3 saw a cobbled time trial: perfect, yes?
Not quite. Fabian only took second on the stage, barely scratching into Pozzato's lead.
Stage 4 into Roubaix, over cobbles. Perfect for putting in time.
Nope, nope, nope. 8th place moved him into 10th overall, but no time gained on Pozzato.
Stage 7's time trial finally saw Fabian take a win. He moved into 3rd overall, but still 2 minutes down.
And it was the way things stayed. And with that, inevitably it shall be adieu to the ProTour!
Notable Performances:
3rd: Fabian Cancellara @ 2'06
||LINK TO RACE||
Edited by Crommy on 10-10-2012 17:52
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| beagle |
Posted on 10-10-2012 17:58
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Grand Tour Specialist
Posts: 4200
Joined: 06-10-2007
PCM$: 200.00
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There are some rumours around that Fabian would like to stay in PT for next season. Can you confirm or decline, please?
Manager of Polar in Man-Game
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-10-2012 19:19
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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beagle wrote:
There are some rumours around that Fabian would like to stay in PT for next season. Can you confirm or decline, please?
Fabian will be leaving, yes. Whether that's as a free agent, or as a glorious asset of the team remains to be seen
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| ember |
Posted on 10-10-2012 19:53
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Team Leader
Posts: 6849
Joined: 27-03-2008
PCM$: 700.00
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There are also rumours Taaramäe, arguably the second biggest star at Carmeuse this season, after Cancellara, isn't happy at all with Carmeuse's relegation. Thus it's rumoured he's tempted to ride as captain for the newly promoted Norwegian team, who's reported to have the funds that's needed for a rider like Taaramäe. It's even rumoured their team manager tries to figure out a loan deal, including a certain Venezuelan!
Though, this is all rumours that has to be taken with a pinch of salt, but do you have any comment to these kind of rumours, about Taaramäe leaving your team?
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| Rin |
Posted on 10-10-2012 19:58
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Small Tour Specialist
Posts: 2748
Joined: 14-04-2008
PCM$: 200.00
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Man this team relegated and you are like ravens circling above a dead animal just waiting for dinner.. Show some respect!
Spoiler Any chances Roelandts might be leaving? |
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| Crommy |
Posted on 10-10-2012 23:50
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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ember wrote:
There are also rumours Taaramäe, arguably the second biggest star at Carmeuse this season, after Cancellara, isn't happy at all with Carmeuse's relegation. Thus it's rumoured he's tempted to ride as captain for the newly promoted Norwegian team, who's reported to have the funds that's needed for a rider like Taaramäe. It's even rumoured their team manager tries to figure out a loan deal, including a certain Venezuelan!
Though, this is all rumours that has to be taken with a pinch of salt, but do you have any comment to these kind of rumours, about Taaramäe leaving your team?
Nope, he's staying
Man this team relegated and you are like ravens circling above a dead animal just waiting for dinner.. Show some respect!
Spoiler:
Any chances Roelandts might be leaving?
Nope, he's also staying (and yes, I definitely have the budget for both these riders)
Hint: don't implicitly describe yourself like that. It doesn't exactly endear me to accepting any bids from you
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| Crommy |
Posted on 11-10-2012 19:36
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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End of Season Classics - So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish
Squads:
GP de Fourmies
51. J. Roelandts
52. A. Aulas
53. JF. Camier
54. T. Gallopin
55. P. Jacobs
56. G. Levarlet
57. C. Lhotellerie
58. K. Peeters
GP Mendrisio
161. G. Levarlet
162. A. Aulas
163. JF. Camier
164. J. El Fares
165. P. Jacobs
166. C. Lhotellerie
167. J. Libert
168. S. Vandousselaere
Chrono des Herbiers
31. F. Cancellara
32. M. Kneisky
33. S. Vandousselaere
Giro di Lombardia
181. G. Levarlet
182. A. Aulas
183. JF. Camier
184. R. Di Gregorio
185. J. El Fares
186. P. Jacobs
187. J. Libert
188. S. Vandousselaere
The last chances to save the team. Jurgen sprinted to a strong 3rd in the GP de Fourmies, and Fabian was 4th at the Chrono des Herbiers (only losing by 12 seconds!)
End of season summary to shortly (or longly) follow.
Notable Performances:
GP de Fourmies: 3rd: Jurgen Roelandts;
Chrono des Herbiers: 4th: Fabian Cancellara;
||LINK TO Giro di Lombardia||
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| Crommy |
Posted on 18-10-2012 22:02
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World Champion
Posts: 10018
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 200.00
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End of Season Review (Part 1/2)
NARRATOR
Amid the crumbling ruins of the Carmeuse - Bouygues Telecom, former UCI Boss and Academy Award nominated actor Crommy addresses a thronging crowd of loyal comrades (consisting entirely of Theo Bos held at gunpoint by the aforementioned team manager)
CROMMY
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!"
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!
Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
NARRATOR
It'd probably help to mention that Crommy has been stripping throughout the whole of this little speech, and is naked by this point, suggestively thrusting his pelvis at a now unconscious Theo Bos.
A missile hits the team HQ. The UN is continuing the liberation operation. There is hope for the riders, their families, and every person on the planet called Colin who was on holiday in Croydon on their 31st birthday.
We'll see some more of the press conference once some press actually show up.
Edited by Crommy on 23-10-2012 21:46
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| Heine |
Posted on 18-10-2012 22:04
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Grand Tour Specialist
Posts: 4116
Joined: 08-04-2007
PCM$: 200.00
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You Crommy, are a sick, sick man...
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| Gustavovskiy |
Posted on 18-10-2012 22:24
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Team Leader
Posts: 6036
Joined: 20-07-2008
PCM$: 200.00
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Can't wait for part 2. I want to know what happens to Bos
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| SotD |
Posted on 18-10-2012 22:29
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World Champion
Posts: 12188
Joined: 29-11-2006
PCM$: 2980.00
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Haha, you are awesome Crommy. I wish I could write something that hilarious, and well written combined in such an epic post. Please keep them coming.
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| Levi4life |
Posted on 19-10-2012 00:25
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Grand Tour Specialist
Posts: 4882
Joined: 16-03-2007
PCM$: 200.00
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He stole the speech from a movie
Sorry Crommy, I'm a Will Smith fan
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