The Council of United Newb Teams, or (C.U.N.*. ) for short is the newly appointed council created to give newbs an effective voice in the 2011 man game season. The C.U.N.* board will consist of 12 seats,(1 seat per team) and the exact rules/constitution will be finalized at a later date. The board of managers will meet once a month to discuss all issues regarding our wellness in the man game, and to discuss the action we take regarding these issues.
Man Game experts are already hailing C.U.N.* as a groundbreaking Union, and a step in the right direction for the wellness of newbs in the great game. But critics of the organization have already arisen and are complaining the whole concept is inappropriate and illogical.
A quote from one critic:
"These (C.U.N.*)'s are a new radical movement trying to disrupt the balance of power within the game. Once all these (C.U.N.*)'s get organized they will cause havoc."
And another:
"I could smell something fishy going on when i arrived at work today. Little did i know the biggest newb movement in this games history was about to be made"
And another:
"I had a dirty feeling about today while i was driving to work, then to my shock heard this statement over the radio. "A new movement within the Man-Game has arisen today. A group of newb managers who call themselves "C.U.N.*'s have banded together to form a powerful Union aimed at creating a voice for all new managers in the game.
The first meeting of C.U.N.* was held today at 1.30pm. Here are a selection of the minutes.
Speaker: "Welcome to the first meeting of the C.U.N.*. After the housekeeping we will get straight onto today's topics"
Member1: "The first topic i would like to bring forward to the council is the review of our name"
Jack888: "Denied"
Speaker: "The next item we need to bring to the councils attention is this law suit being prepared by none other than SotD and Waghlon"
Member 3: "I wouldn't worry too much, i heard SotD is under the hammer for abusing the system and Waghlon can be bribed"
Speaker: Lets close the meeting there and get some Chinese food.
haha, thanks for the feedback. I like the Contador reference.
--------------
PART 1
The next installment from the Council of United Newb Teams is an overview of the debutant teams before they go into battle for the first time.
Bacardi Colt
Managed by Kami, the Bacardi team will be out to cause a little bit of havoc amongst all levels of the game this season. They have gone for the superstar option with their purchase of Ricco and Goss that should enable them to compete even with the PT teams at some races. They have the firepower over the other newb teams, but at the expense of a bit of depth.
Star rider Goss had this to say: "Gday mate, if you wanna start questioning my teams depth, you obviously wanna start on me. You wanna take this outside?" (Reporter Runs)
Well one thing is certain. Kami's Cult have fared much better than most other new teams in the TM. so expect a decent first year performance.
HighRoad-TomTom
Team Highroad is managed by Vosken94. They have not got the strongest squad by a long shot. But they do have a huge pool of young talent, and i am guessing a truck load of cash left. They may not perform this season, but the future looks very bright and hopefully their patience is rewarded.
I asked a psychic how bright their future is: "I see light, very bright. Oh wait, that's my epilepsy. But yes, i can see good things for this team."
Intesa
The Italian based, Team Intesa is managed by Arthon. This is another team with a huge pool of young talent. The depth is there and they have opted to buy a few seasoned riders to top off a well mixed squad. The teams aim for a top15 overall finish is looking realistic.
I asked Roger Federer how all rounded this team is: "People say i am as all rounded as a sportsperson gets. But they obviously haven't seen the Intesa squad...endquote. Now give me that $500...we are still recording roger....oops"
Pirelli - Internazionale
Inter Milan, managed by Jose Mourinho. Have gone for a very competitive squad for 2011. Its no surprise they were pushed to within 10k of the salary budget when you see the likes of Hesjedal, Serpa and Basso squeezed into the squad. The team looks to be based around mountain stages and hilly classics. They should get their fair share of wins this season, and with such a valuable squad things ahead look good for Pirelli.
I asked Jose Mourinho what his thoughts on the team were:
"We have top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, we have a top manager.....wait, your a cycling journalist. You idiot, you have the wrong inter..."
Red Bull
Managed by who looks to be like the most organised of the new managers, Smowz. Red Bull are a predominantly mountain orientated team with quite a few decent climbers. They will pick up plenty of points in the long C1 mountain stage races and would be my pick to top the new teams.
I asked star recruit Kin-San Wu if Red Bull gives you wings: "Short answer, Yes. But we will not be using Red Bull during the season because the wings are not ayro...aryo.....airodynamic."
Team Bimbo Nutella
Team Bimbo's manager Pangare has gone for an all round team to kick things off. They will be competing in the mountains with Kenyan champion, Samwel. While holding their own in the sprinting stages with talents like Van-Arvamart and Eisel. The team will be in the hunt for a number of top 5 finishes in the cont-tour races. And one can only hope their resident Kenyan Samwel can hold onto his RR and TT titles.
I asked Bernard Eisel what language they speak in a squad with so many nationalities: "Well, the team is based in Portugal so we are speaking a lot of Portuguese......"
BEWARE OF THE NEWB TEAMS!
part 2 to come.
Edited by jack888 on 24-04-2010 13:24