At 4:30 in Germany, a man saw a person climbing on the balcony of the 13th floor of the building across the street. He knew that this flat was empty so he called the cops.
The cops called the fire and rescue service and they had to break the door to secure the person.
The man was totally exhausted and later told them what happened. He couldn't find his keys and he didn't want to wake his girlfriend, because it was after midnight and he was drunk. So he decided to climb to the balcony of his flat.
But he missed his flat. Only by one floor - but also by one building.
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"
Bad idea: Letting Schleck93 talk you into telling a joke about pubic hairs to a girl.
Worse idea: Letting him go take a shower before you can shout at him what a big idiot he is.
Fantastic idea: Smoothly segwaying the conversation with the lady, into how her day was anyway, looking like a good guy.
Edited by Waghlon on 01-09-2011 21:25
