"Push Chloe. Your almost there. Keep breathing."

Seconds later popped out a baby boy.
He was so tiny, barely bigger than the size of my hand.
The joys of birth. It's truly amazing.

"Do you have a name picked out for this little guy?"

Chloe and I exchanged glances, we didn't really finalize a name.
We were so busy monitoring Zooey that baby names
completely slipped off our radar.

"Any chance you got a book with names?"

Did that ever sound desperate? The doctor handed me a chart of the
most popular baby names they keep around for parents like us.

"I got. How about Joseph. Zooey and Joseph, I like it."



And with that, I was the proud father of two.

"Happy Birthday little Zooey. Happy Birthday to you."



These are the moments you never want to forget as a parent.
It just sucks that I knew I wasn't going to be around to see more of them.

Now that I was in PCT with Santander, I had more races than ever.
My schedule was basically booked from February to October.
They needed me to race and I needed the money.

I knew family life was going to become secondary and I felt bad for Chloe.
But, I had no choice. I'm in the finally year of my contract and
need to find a way to support my family in the future.

It's a double-edged sword.
But, I was going to do everything in power from letting that sword end me.

Why is this happening to me?

I have gone an entire year without winning a stage.
What happened? I thought it was destiny for me
to become the next great American cyclist.

Scouts don't even bother looking my way any more,
I'm 25 years old and they are already calling me washed out.
And I'm starting to think they may be right.

I can't compete with the riders in the PCT. They are just better than me.
You can't say I haven't try. Because I have. I have trained for hours each day.
Just like when I had the accident and worked to get back into cycling.

I'm starting to think this could be the end of the road.
Santander is even considering leaving me off the squad for the
Amgen Tour of California, that's my home race!
This has to be a new low point during my professional career.



Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
Or is it just another car coming to hit me?

"Newton! Do you know anything about these paper?"

Fernando Alonso shoves a folder full of papers in my direction.
He is fuming, I have never seen him so angry before.



I open the folder and just glance at the top sheet of paper.
Yeah, I don't blame him for being angry...

"Alonso I know where this is going. But, let me explain!"

"Why not, go for it. How could you do this to our cycling program?
Behind our backs no less. Travis this isn't you. Is it?"