Profile



Startlist



Good

Rathe finished 1 place ahead of near-Minion Jeandesbosz, showing it was a good call to revert back to having Rathe as our leader.

Mixed

Santambrogio attacked and got caught. For once, he wasn't our lead sprinter.

Bad

The first 25 riders get points, Rathe finished 28th, which is worth nothing. Le Montagner was our only other finisher.

Results

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Fabien Taillefour	Generali - Kronenbourg 1664	4h36'30
2	Bert-Jan Lindeman	Akzonobel - Statoil	+ 2'42
3	Jean-Lou Paiani	In-n-Out Cycling Team Powered By Carrefour	s.t.
4	Niki Østergaard	Carlsberg - Danske Bank	s.t.
5	Amadou Bakari	Verkefnid Iceland	+ 5'20
28	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 12'59
52	Maxime Le Montagner	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 21'47

Esmaeli, Friedman, Murphy, Santambrogio, Selander and Sinclair were abducted by Evil Minions.

Profiles



Startlist



Good

Tolleson actually sprinted, to a 9th place on stage 2.

Mixed

Duggan and Le Montagner attacked for mountain points on stage 2 and 5 respectivaly, but no mountain jersey. The Frenchman finished fourth.



Bad

We had our first season goal here, which was the points jersey. We made our goals under the assumption we would get a better sprinter. Tolleson just wasn't good enough,

Results

Stage	Winner (Team)	Best Minion (Place, time)
1	Anthony Lavoine (Fablok)	Mauro Santambrogio (19th, s.t.)
2	Alex Rasmussen (Carlsberg)	Taylor Tolleson (9th, s.t.)
3	Maximiliano Richeze (SanCor)	Shaquille Sinclair (20th, s.t.)
4	Anthony Lavoine (Fablok)	Taylor Tolleson (17th, s.t.)
5	Aleksandr Serebriakov (Novatek)	Taylor Tolleson (15th, s.t.)

GC

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Anthony Lavoine	Fablok - Dunlop	17h11'18
2	Alex Rasmussen	Carlsberg - Danske Bank	+ 6
3	Maximiliano Richeze	SanCor Cycling Team	+ 9
4	Kevin Peeters	Lierse SK - Pizza Ullo Cycling Team	+ 17
5	Aleksandr Serebriakov	Novatek-Panarmenian.net	+ 18
15	Taylor Tolleson	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 1'12
23	Mauro Santambrogio	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 1'14
46	Alex Howes	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	s.t.
47	John Murphy	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	s.t.
79	Tareq Esmaeli	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 7'10
89	Shaquille Sinclair	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 7'19
90	Maxime Le Montagner	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	s.t.
97	Timothy Duggan	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	s.t.

Profiles



Startlist



Good

Selander briefly led stage 3 near the end, but was overtaken 500 meters before the line. His fifth place did haul some valuable points.



Mixed

It was another day in the break for Esmaeli, which wasn't rewarded with anything noteworthy.



Bad

Our team leader here was supposed to be Kinney. 42nd place is not what we expected.

Results

Stage	Winner (Team)	Best Minion (Place, time)
1	Andrew Tennant (Strava)	Mark Griffith (19th, + 1'21)
2	Cameron Meyer (Fred Whitton)	Tareq Esmaeli (37th, s.t.)
3	Elia Favilli (Strava)	Bjorn Selander (5th, s.t.)
4	Clemens Fankhauser (OTB Bank)	Mike Friedman (69th, s.t.)

GC

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Andrew Tennant	Strava	11h07'30
2	Gabor Kasa	Severstal-Mercator	+ 27
3	Ingvar Omarsson	Verkefnid Iceland	+ 54
4	Richard Handley	Fred Whitton Race Team	+ 1'01
5	Dmitriy Ignatiev	Severstal-Mercator	+ 1'18
16	Chad Haga	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 2'39
20	Bjorn Selander	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 3'06
42	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 3'55
111	Tareq Esmaeli	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 6'32
115	Sebastian Salas	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 6'41
126	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 7'05
150	Mike Friedman	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 9'16
163	Mark Griffith	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 21'30

Profile



Startlist



Good

We scored points in a team time trial! And points are always welcome!

Mixed

The results are showing us at place 15th, though our time would entitle us to 14th place. It would also give us 2 points instead of 1. We were threatening with legal actions.

Bad

It turned out we did infact finish in 15th place, and scored 1 point.

Results

Pos.	Team	Time
1	RBC Pro Cycling	1h18'07
2	Aegon - Lavazza	+ 9
3	Team Kenya Airways	+ 10
4	Karcher-Adira	+ 20
5	Gazelle	s.t.
15	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 1'31

Two races in Eastern Europe. The stars tell us this month we will finally win something. Yes, Minions believe in astrology.

Tour de Pologne



Nick Kinney
Taylor Tolleson
Bjorn Selander
Jakob Rathe
Tareq Esmaeli
Mike Friedman
John Murphy
Maxime Le Montagner

A lot of hilly stage, asset for Kinney and Selander. Oh, and that useless sprinter is here as well.

Tour de Slovenie



Chad Haga
Taylor Tolleson
Bjorn Selander
Timothy Duggan
Mike Friedman
John Murphy
Maxime Le Montagner
Mark Griffith

Martinez is the defending champion, but we decided to go for a puncheurs/TT'ist squad here, which doesn't include the Cuban. Instead, Haga will be our leader, accompanied by Selander and Duggan.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Today is the day we can finally say Chad Haga is not our only stage winner anymore. Today, we can finally say we're not the only team without a victory anymore...



because Nick Kinney won the sixth stage in the Tour de Pologne!

Profiles



Startlist



Good

Stage 6, and finally it happened. Nick Kinney overtook some Finnish guy with an unpronounceable name in the final kilometer, and won the stage! Our first win of the season, our second win of all time!



Good

Thanks to the victory and his performances in previous stages, Kinney finished thrid in the GC as well, and third in the points classification!

Good

For once, Tolleson put a good effort in sprinting, taking 11th, 7th and 16th (9th in peleton). He might actually get a contract extension...



Results

Stage	Winner (Team)	Best Minion (Place, time)
1	Sebastian Langeveld (Strava)	Nick Kinney (35th, + 1'16)
2	Evgeni Popov (Novatek)	Taylor Tolleson (11th, s.t.)
3	Joey Rosskopf (In-n-Out)	Nick Kinney (7th, + 3'11)
4	Anton Varabei (Gatorade)	Taylor Tolleson (7th, s.t.)
5	Oskar Omarsson (Verkefnid)	Nick Kinney (12th, + 2'09)
6	Nick Kinney (Chiquita)	Nick Kinney (1st, 4h50'18)
7	Craig Lewis (Type 1)	Nick Kinney (12th, + 39)

GC

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Andrey Zeits	Netia - Norske Skog	32h36'54
2	Jukka Vastaranta	DeLaval - Kiitokori	+ 35
3	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 56
4	Frantisek Rabon	Novatek-Panarmenian.net	+ 1'13
5	Jose Mendes	Severstal-Mercator	+ 2'07
32	Taylor Tolleson	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 10'55
54	Bjorn Selander	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 22'55
111	Tareq Esmaeli	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 36'08
138	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 46'54
147	Mike Friedman	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 50'46
149	Maxime Le Montagner	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 51'33
171	John Murphy	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 1h17'00

Profiles



Startlist



Good

Duggan hasn't really showed himself this season so far, but here he showed he still has something left from his TomTom days. He finished fourth on the second stage. This is why we paid 150 thousand bananas for him!



Good

Stage 3 was a time trial, and Haga is back in town! He finished 5th, whilst Duggan finished 8th and Murphy 13th. Haga and Duggan were 2nd and 4th at this point in the GC!

Good

The next two stages didn't bring them into any trouble, meaning we hault a freaking lot of points this race. Haga second, Duggan fourth, and the teams classification!

Results

Stage	Winner (Team)	Best Minion (Place, time)
1	Kazushige Kuboki (Actavis)	Timothy Duggan (34th, s.t.)
2	Marc De Maar (Carlsberg)	Timothy Duggan (4th, + 13)
3	Javier Aramendía (Gatorade)	Chad Haga (5th, + 22)
4	Kirill Pozdnyakov (Novatek)	Timothy Duggan (16th, s.t.)
5	Kamil Zielinski (Fablok)	Timothy Duggan (29th, + 48)

GC

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Pierre Rolland	Generali - Kronenbourg 1664	17h57'20
2	Chad Haga	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 13
3	Gabor Kasa	Severstal-Mercator	+ 20
4	Timothy Duggan	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 23
5	Timothy Roe	Fox Sports - Golomt Cycling	+ 32
52	Bjorn Selander	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 3'34
70	John Murphy	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 4'44
89	Mike Friedman	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 5'46
115	Taylor Tolleson	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 6'35
116	Maxime Le Montagner	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 6'38
156	Mark Griffith	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 12'03

Teams

Pos.	Team	Time
1	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	53h53'16
2	Fablok - Dunlop	+ 53
3	Netia - Norske Skog	+ 1'08

3 months left, and every victory would be a great bonus!

USA Pro Cycling Challenge



Yasmani Martinez
Nick Kinney
Chad Haga
Fabio Montenegro
Timothy Duggan
Sebastian Salas
Alex Howes
Mike Friedman

Stage win goal here, but we'll take a good GC result from Martinez. Duggan, Haga and Kinney are all on great form after their July performances.

Cigar City Brewing Twilight GP



Taylor Tolleson
Jakob Rathe
Tareq Esmaeli
Mike Friedman
John Murphy
Maxime Le Montagner
Shaquille Sinclair
Simon-Pierre Gauthier

Normally we want to destroy cobbles, but last year Rathe achieved our only sponsor goal here. We have set the same target for him this year. Stagiaire Gauthier will make his debut for us.

There will be an important announcement in a few days. Though no official confirmation has been given, it has been rumoured it will contain information regarding the future of the team. In this time of uncertainty, chaos rules at the Minions-HQ. What will happen to them?

So, the long awaited, heavily discussed announcement is here! This news bulletin will contain all the details regarding sponsorship, naming right, jersey etc.

First of all let's take a look at our sponsors:



With that out of the way, what will our team be called next season? And what will our abbreviation be?



We will also reveal our jersey for next season:



So, is there anything new for next season? Yes there is! This is the reason why everyone on Earth panicked:



This was the important announcement, thank you all for listening. Now you can finally go to sleep again!

An unique performance happened today, because for the first time ever the team has won more than 1 stage in the season. In what became only our third stage victory, the second TT victory, the second achieved sponsor goal and his second victory as well



Chad Haga wins the fourth stage in the USA Pro Cycling Challenge!

Profiles



Startlist



Good

Stage 4 was a TT, territory for Timothy Duggan, Chad Haga and Yasmani Martinez. After his second place in Slovenia a little while back, Chad proved to the world he still got it by winning the TT!



Good

2 stages later, the same Haga went into the attack. He scored valuable points for the KoM/points classification, on his way to finishing second in the latter. He also finished second in the stage, losing out to some unpronouncable guy. Martinez took some valuable time in the stage as well, moving up to 5th in the GC.



Good

1 stage later, and Montenegro the Colombian went into the break. With a goal of course, to act as helper for Martinez. The Cuban attacked on the final climb, joined up and gained valuable time. Unfortunately, some other unpronouncable guy overtook us for second place in the GC. Martinez and Montenegro finished fourth in fifth in the stage, and Yasmani would finish third in the GC.



Results

Stage	Winner (Team)	Best Minion (Place, time)
1	Ben King (Gatorade)	Mike Friedman (9th, s.t.)
2	Manuel Senni (Lierse)	Sebastian Salas (16th, + 1'10)
3	Aidis Kruopis (Indosat)	Mike Friedman (12th, s.t.)
4	Chad Haga (Chiquita)
5	Fabian Giger (Actavis)	Yasmani Martinez (15th, + 4'14)
6	Abdelkader Belmokhtar (Strava)	Chad Haga (2nd, s.t.)
7	Gian Piero Signorini (Indosat)	Yasmani Martinez (4th, + 3'16)
8	Kun Hung Hung (Compal)	Yasmani Martinez (22nd, s.t.)

GC

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Jakub Novak	In-n-Out Cycling Team Powered By Carrefour	30h30'42
2	Abolfazl Gilanipoor	Compal-Merida	+ 50
3	Yasmani Martinez	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 58
4	Steve Morabito	Actavis - DKSH	+ 1'24
5	Branislav Samoilev	DeLaval - Kiitokori	+ 2'21
14	Chad Haga	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 5'08
31	Sebastian Salas	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 16'06
40	Fabio Montenegro	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 20'46
42	Alex Howes	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 21'02
78	Timothy Duggan	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 41'54
82	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 43'23
131	Mike Friedman	Chiquita - Universal p/b Minions	+ 1h18'36