Dont be a menace to Japan while riding bicycles in Germany
”Welcome to Munich, Germany, dont forget to eat your shoes before entering cycling competition”
Basso just stood there and ”Well thats...” before getting interrupted by Chavanel ”a local tradition that the natives love, just go along with it”. Hushovd was already eating his shoes, but that was because he was hungry.
”So anyway, the rules guys...” then Basso looked at Chavanel who were eating his shoes as well... He sighed and continued ”There will be four rounds of cycling. Round 1 will be a 10 kilometer long TT on a circuit here in town. The 16 fastest qualifies for round 2... You guys still with me?”
Hushovd and Chavanel nodded, both being half way through the first shoe.
”Round 2: A quartermile dragrace rider versus rider. The eight winners qualifies for round 3... Guys seriously stop that!”
Hushovd had taken some of Chavanels right shoe and they started fighting. And Basso pacified them, he countinued.
”Round 3 is the last event of the night: The eight riders ride a 1 Hour Challenge on a velodrome to see how can get the furthest in one hour. Let it be noted that all eight riders ride AT THE SAME TIME... Chavanel! Put that down!”
”Round 4 will be held tommorow, where the winner of the Round 3 event, will ride against UCI World ITT Champion Fabian Cancellara...”
”Vell dat is plain wrong” Hushovd, now done eating his shoes, and Chavanels shoes mumbled
Chavanel then stood up from his wheelchair and shouted ”Well guys! Lets beat their sorry behinds and show them a real champion! Ooo-rah?”
”OOH-RAH!” the other two complied.
Round 1:
Basso and Hushovd easily finished in top 16. But Chavanel failed to start because he couldnt walk (just stand up). He was defeated by an iranian rider who rode 50 meters before hitting a spectator.
Round 2:
Basso looked his opponent in the eyes. It was a young and upcoming stage racer named Abraham O. Olano. Naturally a man with such a spanish name couldnt TT. But since Basso decided to have a manicure before racing, Olano was actually halfway down the 400 meters before Basso got on his bike. Basso still won of course.
Hushovd won in a much more impressive style, backwards on his bike while shouting something in japanese making a huge tail of purple smoke.
Chavanel ate his bike.
Round 3:
”I have a plan” Basso said calmly.
”Team attack?” Hushovd responded calmly.
”Yes”
”But how we will know that the rest wont chase us?”
”Theyre idiots. You know that because theyre cyclists”
”Okay. On 3... 2...”
And there was attacking. And as predicted, Hushovd and Basso powered away from the six others who discussed and argued about who was supposed to chase. At some point the United Nations were into and negotiated. Quite stupid considering it was a TT.
So with less than two minutes to go, Hushovd and Basso was leading.
”You know Thor, i really enjoyed this ride but i need to move on” Basso smirked before attacking and pulling away. Hushovd just rode back up to him because Basso got like 52 statpoints in acceleration compared to Hushovd's 93.
Hushovd: ”You know Dami-anno. Non of us know how too ride on a jellodrome.”
Basso: ”Oh shi”
Realizing that they were road riders with no experience in track, they both crashed, how ever Basso's slender legs made him fall further than Hushovd. And so he won.
Tommorow: Basso versus Cancellara. Who will best hell itself and be proclaimed the biggest idiot alive?
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