Hushovd stood back up after being launched into a tree and having his spine broken into four pieces. Being Norweigan, he was naturally more man than most others, and as such, small details like his spine breaking just didnt bother him. He walked through the snow in the last known direction of Chavanel, and when he got there, he found a frozen statue of a man just standing there. He noticed that a bicycle was partly submerged into the ice. Then he fell through the ice, then flew back up again, froze into a statue of ice and stood there for at least ten minutes before breaking the statue with his manly body temperature. Because he was Norweigan and more man than the rest, this didnt bother him at all.
”Girly man cannot melt ice with his body. I better punch girly man to make him warm” said a Hushovd who obviously wasnt bothered at all by anything that had happened to him.
Hushovd did a fierce uppercut to girly man's jaw, then in a feat of incredible athlectism, he flew several meters up into the air with girly man attached to his fist, at peak altitude, Hushovd dropped down the ground again landing on his feet, while girly man flew ten meters backwards through the air, catching fire in the progress and then landed head first on the snow next to the frozen lake.
You know Norweigans do this all the time. Partly because they are awesome, but mainly because they are more men than the rest of us.
Girly man (or Chavanel if you insist on calling him that) rose to his feet. He saw Hushovd and all he could say was ”everything hurts...” before collapsing. Hushovd knowing they had to find Basso before the story could continue, so he picked up Chavanel easily and carried him all the way to the last known location of Basso (seriously, does he have a GPS in his head or what? Maybe he's a pigeon. Those birds can find anything from across continents afterall). There he found a crying Basso.
”We are doomed. Im doped, you were supposed to be killed in that accident and Chavanel looks a train hit his face” sulked Basso loudly. ”How can we ever participate in the charity race tommorow?”
Hushovd smiled and said ”Dont worry, for every problem you have, Credit Agricole have a solution for it” and then he threw Chavanel into a tree. Because he's a man, and real men throw other men into trees. Hushovd then picked up his mobilephone, pressed a few buttons and said ”Yes, we need the spare cyclists”
In a flash of blinding light and smoke, three men dressed business suit just stood there.
”Behold!” said a tríumphant Norweigan, ”Yannick Talabardon, Mads Kaggestad and some italian guy that used to ride for the team!”
Basso just started to cry even more. |
