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All-Star Teams
Deadpool
ESPN.com's Bill Simmons, the funniest writer I know of (seriously, even if you don't know much about American sports you should read him) has all-star teams of athletes that fit into certain groups. For instance there is the Lindsey Hunter All-Stars, composed of athletes whose names make them sound like hot supermodels. So I'm creating a number of all-star teams to recognize cyclists.

I've created three teams to begin with. You can recommend any new teams or inductees by posting.

The Denis Menchov All Stars - For riders who often crash in time-trials

Inductees:

Denis Menchov
Niki Terpstra
Michael Rasmussen
William Bonnet
Alessandro Ballan

---

The Lance Armstrong All Stars - For riders who have shown skill handling a bike when forced off the road

Inductees:

Lance Armstrong
Oscar Freire
Yukiya Arashiro
Jan Ullrich
Thor Hushovd

---

The Damiano Cunego All Stars - For riders who have won a grand tour because of the lack of competition, luck, or a disqualification (aka riders who have won a grand tour and didn't deserve it)

Inductees:

Damiano Cunego
Oscar Pereiro
Alberto Contador
Ivan Gotti
Denis Menchov
Pavel Tonkov

---

The Marco Velo All Stars - For riders whose last names are bicycle components

Inductees:

Marco Velo ( "Bicycle" )
Emanuelle Sella ( "Saddle" )
Julián Rodas ( "Wheels" )

---

The Christophe Moreau All Stars - For riders who fought tooth and claw over idiotic things (often using their fists) while on a bike

Christophe Moreau
Carlos Sastre
Theo Bos
Wladimir Belli

---

The Franck Schleck All Stars - For riders who ride off the road on descents
Franck Schleck
John-Lee Augustyn
Pedro Horrillo
Oscar Pereiro
Jan Ullrich
Rigoberto Uran
Johan Bruyneel
Thor Hushovd

---

Jan Ullrich All Stars - For perennial runners up

Inductees:

Jan Ullrich
Cadel Evans
Michael Boogerd
Raymond Poulidor

---

Maurice Garin All Stars - For riders whom has taken the train instead of riding the actual distance

Inductees:

Maurice Garin
César Garin
Philippe Jousselin
Lucien Pothier
Hyppolite Aucouturier

---

Needless to say we need a lot more entries, so suggest anyone you think deserves to be here.
Edited by Deadpool on 23-07-2009 04:02
 
issoisso
---

The Bicycle parts All-Stars - For riders whose surnames are/translate to actual names of pieces of cycling equipment

Marco Velo ( "Bicycle" )
Emanuelle Sella ( "Saddle" )
Julián Rodas ( "Wheels" )

----
Edited by issoisso on 07-07-2009 15:43
 
MrContador
Add Ullrich to Armstrong All-Stars (14. stage 2001 Tour de France.)
 
Il Grillo
What about Pereiro for "Damiano Cunego Allstars"?
 
Deadpool
with a little amendment to the requirements he is now in there
 
Biathlon
DeletePfft
Edited by Biathlon on 08-07-2009 10:52
Words to live by
"What would Lance do?"
i666.photobucket.com/albums/vv23/Biiathlon/livestrong_tdf.jpg
 
Deadpool
what?
 
MrContador
Oscar Pereiro All-Stars - For riders who have won Grand Tours because the leader got caught for doping:

Oscar Pereiro (2006 Tour de France)
Alberto Contador (2007 Tour de France)
Ivan Gotti (1999 Giro d'Italia)
Denis Menchov (2005 Vuelta a España)
 
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Waghlon
Christophe Moreau All-Stars - People who fought tooth and claw over idiotic things (often using their fists) while on a bike

Christophe Moreau
Carlos Sastre
Those two spaniards from the 90's whose name i keep forgetting
Theo Bos
Kenny Van Hummel (?)
aaannndd if im not too wrong, havent Hamilton once tried to punch someone while on a bike?
Wladimir Belli

Special Guest Appearances: Every single sprinter who have indirectly pushed someone into the barriers and caused a crash.
Edited by Waghlon on 07-07-2009 17:01
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Deadpool
MrContador wrote:
Oscar Pereiro All-Stars - For riders who have won Grand Tours because the leader got caught for doping:

Oscar Pereiro (2006 Tour de France)
Alberto Contador (2007 Tour de France)
Ivan Gotti (1999 Giro d'Italia)
Denis Menchov (2005 Vuelta a España)


we'll ammend the damiano cunego all stars again and add all of them
 
Il Grillo
Wladimir Belli needs to be in the Moreau Allstars!
 
Kami
Frank Schleck All-Stars - For riders who ride in ravines.

Frank Schleck
John-Lee Augustyn
Pedro Horrillo
Oscar Pereiro
Edited by Kami on 07-07-2009 17:00
Manager of:
Bacardi Limited


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Waghlon
Il Grillo wrote:
Wladimir Belli needs to be in the Moreau Allstars!


Sold
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MrContador
Kami wrote:
Frank Schleck All-Stars - For riders who ride in ravines.

Frank Schleck
John-Lee Augustyn
Pedro Horrillo
Oscar Pereiro

Ullrich too. (14. stage Tour de France 2001)
 
Il Grillo
Another category proposal:

The Erik Zabel Allstars - For riders who come to close to animals

Erik Zabel
Marcus Burghardt
Sandy Casar
Edited by Il Grillo on 07-07-2009 17:49
 
E_Hagen
Not appreciatde anymore but:

Mads Kaggestad All-Stars

Poor pro-tour riders

His Royal Highness Mads I of Bhutanese cycling
Ian McLeod

 
Wiggo
MADS KAGGESTED JOKES ARE NOT FUCKING FUNNY OK?
 
Ad
E_Hagen wrote:
Not appreciatde anymore but:

Mads Kaggestad All-Stars

Poor pro-tour riders

His Royal Highness Mads I of Bhutanese cycling
Ian McLeod



Agreed Grin you have to give credit to the man.
 
E_Hagen
... But Yannick Talabardon ones are funny?
 
Waghlon
Not really...
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