We've made it! Well, I have, you all at home have, my marriage... might have, but unfortunately just 78 riders have after yesterday's bonkers 65km stage that must happen again. I have no idea why this is happening now other than to make it seem like the riders didn't train from the Pyrenees to Paris just to get smashed tonight.
I asked around the riders and staff and fellow journalists to see who can sprint in this group:
So those are the favourites if this comes down to a sprint, but many think, because to be quite honest nobody cares or is ready for a sprint, this is the scene for the first breakaway win on the Champs-Elysees since Vinokourov back in 2005! What a finish that could be today, a chance for 78 riders who would never in a million years get to win this prestigious stage to battle it out in Paris.
Everybody could win this, and so nobody has any breakaway interest! Still very surprising though as it's a real possibility they could win. Nobody except Mngometulu, the Control rider!
The lack of a sponsor doesn't mean you can't do the show-off-your-jersey stretch...
Compensating, Gustav?
Into Paris goes the Swazi rider and past the famous Eiffel Tower. 103km to go and the peloton want this stage, the gap just 2'09.
He thinks it's all over - it's not for another 88km! Still four laps to go but obviously the Control Team didn't get the memo that this was a circuit race, and Mngometulu is celebrating the win that never was...
As always it's a beautiful sight to see the peloton ride around the Arc du Triomphe, not as impressive with a half sized pack who can't go all the way around at once, but nevertheless it's a wonderful image.
50km to go and the lone escapee has just a minute on a Festina and Aegon-lead peloton, presumably the former is looking for a second straight stage win from the white jersey.
One lap to go and Festina and AirFrance end the adventure of Mngometulu. Not sure who the latter is gunning for, perhaps an assault on the podium from Sicard? If they're playing nice then Koch is probably the best bet, the German is known for his punch.
7.5km to go, crazy sprint set-up with no real teams to take control, the guys who are looking like they want to compete are Canty, Zardini, Sicard, Van der Velde and Lecuisinier. A podium assault from Sicard is very real here, there could be drama on the Champs-Elysees!
3.6km to go, Dekker leads Zardini and Vasyliv leads out Lecuisinier, aside from that everyone else is tucked in behind for the craziest sprint in years in Paris! The same seven names in contention here, the favourite is Zardini as Aegon look to bookend the race, but will we see van der Velde picking up Grosu's mantle for his team, Canty making his manager a little happier than he was, Flügel taking his third, Barguil taking a well-deserved stage win to ease his Pyreneean brusing, Lecuisinier going back to back or Sicard stealing Gesink's third place in dramatic style?
The iconic left-hand-right-hand bends bring us to the final straight, if the legend that second wheel wins here are true then it's Zardini's to lose. Meanwhile Spilak and Taaramae look to join the fun, as well as Formolo, Roche, Kolesnikov and Nerz - what a stage this would be if the latter got the stage win he's been craving! He's not a quitter, Dominik Nerz!
And bang, off he goes! The polka dot jersey is going for Parisien glory, he's been hunting for a stage win and it may come in the most unlikely of places. Still a long way to go, but it looks like he's caught his rivals by surprise!
And so too goes Rein Taaramae, a powerful sprint from the yellow jersey, we always see the GC winner raise his arms but could he do it as stage winner today? Wow! Canty and Lecuisinier best placed behind them other than the leadout man Dekker. 800m to go.
600m left, this is chaos! Jaramillo leads Spilak up to Nerz's wheel, Taaramäe is about to take the lead, Dekker still goes and Sicard has gone caput! Relief for Gesink though.
300m left, van der Velde and, amazingly, Dekker looking good to battle for second but Rein Taaramäe, wow! What a win this will be!
An iconic image as Taaramae Reins supreme in Paris, the yellow jersey winning here for the first time since the Badger himself in 1982! Though perhaps the man he most channeled today was in fact Eddy Merckx, the Cannibal. Because he has won it all here in Paris, taking stage and GC today! What a sprint, what a rider, what a race this has been.
A frenetic finish here, super close and we'll have to get back to you on the stage results, but Van der Velde and one of Dekker and Flügel complete the podium, surely hoping for stage wins but can't be too disappointed, as none of the riders here can be, except perhaps Sicard. This was a fun sprint, really, for most of these climbers, though the chance for a victory here was an exciting one.
The podium ceremony against the backdrop of the Arc du Triomphe is here and it begins, as it will surely end, with Rein Taaramae. What a sprint, that's all I can say! Not known for his kick in flat sprints but my god he took that final straight by the horns. Confirmation that a very impressive Dekker held off Flügel, who surely would have wanted to add a third stage win to his tally but couldn't today.
Gazelle takes the team classification and could have if there were even more riders involved, but their three-man unit of Kangert, Karnulin and Formolo have been impressing since Czechia and have demolished the competition by all finishing in the top 25. A great race for them really, no stage success but this plus the huge performance of Kangert is something to be proud of.
Pierre-Henri Lecuisinier as everybody expected collects his white jersey, and somedays he must have forgotten he was wearing it - taking it on Stage 3 and the closest anybody came after that was in fact Tiesj Benoot and not any of the GC men. However this is symbolic as the last white jersey he'll ever win - as we have seen on the Col de Portet, France's golden boy has become a man, and he's ready to fight for wins at the pointy end of things now.
Dominik Nerz, as well as the super-combativie prize (without Lars Boom it was a no-brainer, and it would have been an easy win anyway) with GC man Barguil his next competition due to crazy Breton voters) collects the KOM jersey by a landslide margin. Always aggressive, always winning those climbs, the only dampener is his lack of a stage win which he came so close to so often. However even without that, a great race for the German who also managed to climb to 15th on GC in Pyrenees, and a great turnaround after an awful first week. Same goes for second place here is Freddy Galta, who was only in two breakaways. To say he made them count is the understatement of the race! A second KOM podium for the Norwegian after La Vuelta, this time he also managed to squeeze in a huge GC performance in sixth (especially after being out of the picture for most of the race) and two of the greatest stage victories you'll see this year!
Simon Spilak collects the green jersey, two stage wins and a staggering six futher podiums and a couple of other top 5s sealing that deal! A consolation prize really but indicative of his great race. However it's not what he came here for: he'd much rather be up next.
Rein Taaramae finally gets it, at 32 years old he's the second maiden Grand Tour winner of the season, and better late than never! He's been second here in 2015, fourth here last year when he crashed out of the yellow jersey race, and finally he's on the top step of the podium, and in the biggest of them all. For years he was Spilak's second fiddle (except when he beat him in the Dauphine!) as the main hope in the French Foreign Legion as he rode for the dearly departed Bouygues Telecom team against Festina, but now as both reach their twilight days, he's triumphed, and in fine style, with four stage wins along the way.
Simon Spilak is second, and what a race he had too - this duel was something special, as for the second year in a row the Tour de France is decided by under a minute, though Taaramae's bonuses today surprisingly make it less close than last year!
A simply marvellous race for yellow, and unfortunately one of them had to lose. He threw everything he could at Taaramae on the last two days, but it wasn't to be for the reigning champion. The Estonian's brave ride on La Planche des Belles Filles, Spilak's Stage 10 fightback and Stage 11 romp into yellow, the stalemates at La Toussuire and Plateau de Beille, Taaramae's iconic attacks on Ventoux and Tourmalet, and the epic culmination yesterday as Spilak attacked relentlessly and Taaramae stayed calm and held strong. What a race this was.
Gesink is third for another year just four seconds ahead of Sicard - a great race from the Frenchman who beat many expectations, but the quality experience of the Dutchman came through late on. Another thoroughly entertaining duel, congratulations to them both on great races, again a shame only one fit on the podium.
Lecuisinier in fifth wasn't the podium challenger everyone wanted him to be, but with a memorable stage win on the Col de Portet yesterday and the white jersey, it's not all bad for the young Frenchman, who is well on his way to turning this proud nation's fans into believers that another champion is coming. Another young gun who did even more to convince the world of his quality is Galta, and what a race he had! Two solo stage victories on epic mountain stages and going from 30th after Stage 10 back to 6th on Stage 19, and a great ride yesterday to hold it.
Barguil rode an excellent Tour de France and won hearts with his fighting spirit, which cost him in the last two days when he was looking at attacking for fifth. The Breton impressed in what is his first year leading at this level, and will surely be back in future Grand Tours for more than seventh. Wellens rode a quiet but strong race to eighth, whilst Intxausti went from tragic to magic and back each day, and so ninth seems appropriate, but so much less than the pre-race podium contender would have wanted. And rounding out the top 10 is Dekker, third today and so, so strong still as a veteran, I know he has impressed many with his solid ride this month, never cracking and riding his way to a lovely 10th.
And that's us. Thank you all so much for following, for commenting, for supporting me and most of all these riders. On behalf of everyone here at the Tour de France, this is nothing without you all, wherever you are watching this from. If you've stuck with me through this, well, all I can say is well done, and I regret no jokes I have made. This has been yet another fantastic Tour de France, and goodbye from all of us here, bringing it to you for another year. Take care.
