@Fabianski - Some riders need to step up, and by those I mean the guys earning half a million bananas...
@redordead - Criticizing Vesely? Who would ever do that...



Baltic Chain Tour
April 6 - 10, C1



Baltic Chain Tour has been on the calendar for a long time. Five stages through five countries (even though there are only three Baltic countries), of which four are sprints. The other one is a prologue, but with a twist: parts of it are cobbled. Because of that we bring our cobbles squad as well as Kalaba for the asphalt sections of the prologue and the following sprints.

Mr Sweeck found himself in the hot seat for a while, but ended up beaten by three riders. Starting at fourth at three seconds, he would gradually lose places as bonus seconds brought the sprinters back into play. Kalaba started at plus seventeen in fifty-second but a fifth and eighth place brought him alongside the Belgian in ninth and tenth at twenty-eight seconds.

Stages four and five saw breakaway opportunities by both Sweeck and De Witte, in the hunt for bonus seconds but ending up costing time for the latter. Kalaba also messed up the sprint on stage four. Ultimate redemption would come on the final stage, with the Serbian beating everyone to the line. The twenty-five seconds bonus saw him finish fifth in the GC, while Sweeck held on to points in sixteenth.

1	Marco Haller	Kraftwerk Man Machine	17h06'42
5	Dusan Kalaba	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 16
16	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 41
69	Kazushige Kuboki	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 57
70	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
91	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1'02
107	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1'06
123	Laureano Rosas	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1'12
133	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'47

Berlin ProRace
April 15, C1



Vesely has a chance to extend his lead in the individual Minions classification in this Berlin ProRace. It's very flat and chances of a sprint are very high. Just beware of a breakaway or late attack.

The breakaway was neutralized with 27 kilometer to go with a wide coalition of teams. After that we decided to take charge and set a high pace to prevent late attacks. Unfortunately, that failed. A group of six got away and sprinted for the victory, Dzamastagic strongest of all.

Vesely tried his best to catch the other attackers and opened early. It was to no avail, as the attackers took the top six places. The Czech crossed the line in tenth place, fourth of the peloton.

1	Mark Dzamastagic	HelloFresh - Lampre	4h22'15
10	Daniel Vesely	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 21
39	Alvaro Hodeg	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
55	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
82	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
86	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
91	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
104	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
169	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 6'16

Roma Maxima
April 23, PTHC



Cobblestone isn't exactly our favorite terrain but we have scored decent points against easy opposition. This race is PTHC, so no easy opposition here. It's the first time we're racing against Zepuntke so De Witte, Marcos and Sweeck can only dream about getting second. Getting them inside the top 50 is the goal.

Tikhonin went into the break but without adequate cobblestone skills it became a suicide mission. De Witte bridged the gap later on, and Sweeck put in a failed attempt to do the same. The catch was made with 40 kilometer to go and Sweeck was soon dropped out of the action. The Belgian would not finish anywhere near the points.

While the big favorites placed their attacks and rode away, we lost sight of where Marcos was hanging around. Inside the final two kilometer the camera finally panned to the second group and there was our favorite Cuban, battling for the top ten! He had the worst sprint of all but that was enough to stay ahead of the peloton and finish ninth! He finished four places ahead of the best rider to ever grace this earth! Also, shoutout to De Witte to finish just behind the pack in 29th for some extra points.

1	Mads Pedersen	Grieg-Maersk	4h35'11
9	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1'31
29	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 2'14
84	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 6'04
94	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 7'17
95	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 7'36
132	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 12'56
141	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 14'37
163	Didier Merchan	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 19'09

Lincoln GP
April 25, C2



We had to split our squad between Lincoln GP and GP Wallonie on the 25th of April. The race in England finished earlier so receives preferential treatment for the review process. At C2 rated the selection constraints become even more difficult, so it's De Witte, Marcos and Sweeck together with people who drew the wrong straw, and our stagiare Hailemichael.

English and Stöckli were the unlucky ones, so to cheer them up they were forced into the breakaway. The Irishman held on quite well and finished 27th, only a few placed behind Sweeck who had his traditional tactical masterstroke of attacking and then dropping.

Our best man today was De Witte, who would end up in sixth place after following wheels. Marcos, recovering from his heroics in Rome, finished sixteenth. Sweeck's position also got us one point. Poor Coppel finished last, but he did finish!

1	Christoph Taubel	Pas Normal Studios - Mikkeller	3h51'28
6	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 41
16	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 2'20
24	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'31
27	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'59
49	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 5'51
84	Mulu Hailemichael	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 15'54
108	Laureano Rosas	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 32'21
110	Jerome Coppel	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 42'08

GP Wallonie
April 25, HC



A forced hilly race which we have zero hope for. Looking for a top 100 with Stuyven, the others are there to make the minimum number of riders.

At one point we were roasted by the commentator for not having any riders left in the peloton with fifteen kilometer to go. Stuyven finished one-hundred-and-twelfth.

We didn't even have anyone in the break, so we have no race picture to use in this review. Keith shows his displeasure.

1	Tejay Van Garderen	Sauber Petronas Racing	4h34'31
112	Jasper Stuyven	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'41
157	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 5'25
161	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
162	Luis Enrique Lemus Davila	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
169	Dayer Quintana	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
178	Didier Merchan	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.

Veenendaal - Veenendaal
April 28, PTHC



The managers home race has been promoted to PTHC and we were lucky enough to be invited. Under it's current name the team hasn't had success, but Drapac once took sixth under the old name Dutch Food Valley Classic. Vesely is tasked to beat that result in a sprint. He won't go for a late attack this race, he's not stupid or anything.

Wait, he did attack? VESELY, YOU ARE STUPID. YOU ARE A SPRINTER, WAIT FOR THE SPRINT. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. No, it can't be. It was an imposter. It was a Minions fan who breached the course. Or English had switched jerseys and was the one to attack. And Vesely got blocked in the sprint. Yes, that's what actually happened. This race is jinxed by the higher powers, we can't win here.

Why can't anything just go normal in my home race? Why always here? Why always me? I'm gonna cry in a corner. We messed up and will do better next time. Or we'll just not go to this race for the sake of our sanity. The pressure to perform is too high so we make bad moves. Lessons learned (hopefully).

1	Mads Pedersen	Grieg-Maersk	4h56'44
22	Daniel Vesely	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
32	Alvaro Hodeg	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
60	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
94	Kazushige Kuboki	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
122	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
165	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
167	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
168	Didier Merchan	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.

Four months in, six to go, so almost halfway. By now we should be in a high position to challenge for promotion. If we are, we will throw a massive party. If we're not, things will start flying around the room. Luckily not much is left to smash anyway after the Veenendaal debacle which caused a lot of stuff to mysteriously break in pieces.

Pos	Last		Team	Total	RD	PpRD	Proj
1	1		Amaysim Cervelo	1995	55	36.27	5912
2	6		HelloFresh - Lampre	1419	56	25.34	4130
3	2		Binance	1351	58	23.29	3796
4	4		Bralirwa - Stevens	1210	70	17.29	2818
5	5		Carlsberg - Danske Bank	1205	68	17.72	2888
6	9		Zara - Irizar	1195	63	18.97	3092
7	3		Lierse SK - Pizza Ullo PCTeam	1171	76	15.41	2512
8	7		Trans Looney Tunes	1132	70	16.17	2636
9	11		Volcanica - Fox	1060	74	14.32	2334
10	14		Xero Racing	1050	50	21	3423
11	10		Sauber Petronas Racing	1021	59	17.31	2822
12	8		Red Bull Zalgiris	999	59	16.93	2760
13	13		Kraftwerk Man Machine	926	57	16.25	2649
14	17		Voyagin - Bird	808	59	13.69	2231
15	12		Cedevita	802	56	14.32	2334
16	16		Minions - Subwoolfer	772	59	13.08	2132
17	19		Team Popo4Ever	764	49	15.59	2541
18	18		Strava	717	55	13.04	2126
19	20		Gjensidige Pro Cycling Team	709	53	13.38	2181
20	15		Philips - Force India	675	45	15	2445
21	21		Indosat Ooredoo	591	76	7.78	1268
22	22		Assa Abloy	533	49	10.88	1773
23	23		Crabbe-CC Chevigny	410	50	8.2	1337
24	24		Project: Africa	308	40	7.7	1255

We kept our position, which is sixteenth place. Not high enough, not even close to be challenging for promotion. In fact, looking at the mystical PPRD and projected rankings we would be only just above the relegation line by six points to Strava. This is not looking good. What does favor us is the low individual scoring of Cattaneo and Dennis so far. Yes, they haven't scored well yet but you can't score a lot if you don't race often. The good news is both will be in action next month, so our scoring potential goes up.

Pos	Last	Rider	Nat		Team	Total
1	3	Jonas Ahlstrand	SWD		Volcanica - Fox	634
16	9	Daniel Vesely	CZE		Minions - Subwoolfer	286
66	131	Dusan Kalaba	SER		Minions - Subwoolfer	105
87	126	Leandro Marcos	CUB		Minions - Subwoolfer	73
91	79	Laurens Sweeck	BEL		Minions - Subwoolfer	69
95	103	Mathias De Witte	BEL		Minions - Subwoolfer	62
143	119	Mattia Cattaneo	ITA		Minions - Subwoolfer	33
148	123	Evgenii Tikhonin	RUS		Minions - Subwoolfer	32
160	129	Felix English	IRL		Minions - Subwoolfer	28
165	133	Kazushige Kuboki	JPN		Minions - Subwoolfer	26
179	150	Alvaro Hodeg	COL		Minions - Subwoolfer	22
215	179	Nathan Brown	USA		Minions - Subwoolfer	16
267	232	Luis Enrique Lemus Davila	MEX		Minions - Subwoolfer	9
336	301	Laureano Rosas	ARG		Minions - Subwoolfer	3
337	302	Savva Novikov	RUS		Minions - Subwoolfer	3
372	337	Rohan Dennis	AUS		Minions - Subwoolfer	2
373	338	Dayer Quintana	COL		Minions - Subwoolfer	2
395	368	Jan Stöckli	SWI		Minions - Subwoolfer	1

Vesely remains our highest scorer and still inside the overall top twenty, responsible for about one-third of our points. His racedays will come down over the next months so there is time for our other sprinter, Kalaba, to catch up. He is currently in second place ahead of the cobbles trio Marcos, Sweeck and De Witte, who will have the gruesome Tour of Faso to look forward to. Cattaneo will have moved up after this month pending his performance in Austria while Tikhonin has already outscored his expected points by infinite percent. Flat assistants English, Kuboki and Hodeg complete the top ten as they did last month, and no points changes have occurred below them.

@AbhishekLFC - Cobbles aren't the terrains we should be relying on for lots of points, but it's keeping us afloat. Hope Vesely picks up the pace again and drags the rest of the team forwards.



Ninety-six riders have had the honor of belonging to the best cycling team in history. To honor them, we'll be going through the archives to discuss them all. At the end of each month, a group of riders is selected with something in common. Where were they before they became addicted to bananas? How did they do on the road? Where are they now? This adventure culminates in the introduction of the Minions Hall of Fame, where we honor our legends.

This month's group: single season riders. For various circumstances, these riders only had one season in our colors. Did they make the best of it and got snatched up by bigger teams or did they disappoint and let go as a result? Perhaps team-hopping has been a pattern to them.

Carlos Betancourt



Getting Carlos Betancourt in our first PCT was meant to be a superstar signing. He had finished in the individual top ten of the PCT division at FCB - Polska, we even pumped a million bananas into a training camp to have him fresh from the ashes of Coldeportes to conquer the hilly terrain. Yet he became the first in a line of puncheurs to severely underperform at our team. Relations between the Colombian and the team deteriorated to a point where we called him Fattancourt and eventually sold him off to the WCC for 850k. Looking back though, the results weren't as bad as we remembered. He got a seventh place in the Tour of Beijing, a tenth place in the Tour of Pologne and a seventh place at the end of the season in Milano - Torino. For every good result there was an equally bad result, with as lowlight voluntarily dropping in the Tour of Norway to help Drapac. Nevertheless, he finished as our second highest scoring rider behind Uran and in the top 100 overall, which he would replicate with his future employers. He is currently signed to Colombini back in the lowest division, and has only scored four points all year. Safe to say the end of his career is near.



Pawel Poljanski



Pawel Poljanski was brought in last year to be the super domestique in both the mountainous and hilly races, and get some chances of his own in lesser races. He had performed well in that role at his alma mater Fablok, where he was under contract until their disbandment in 2020. In the mountains, he got to hunt for the KoM when Uran was out of position, with a personal highlight of a fourth stage result and second in the mountains classification in Austria, as well as a seventh place on a stage in Colombia. His best GC result was 23rd in his home race, which could have been higher. He fared better in the hills, mainly for being more competent than another rider featured later in this overview. Tenth place overall in Britain, eighteenth in Hong Kong and add a King of the Mountains award in Norway. He refused to return for team for another season at the same wage, and even refused a 20k increase to see him earn more than a tonne per year. A good call on his end as he now earns even more at Strava.



Vojtech Hacecky



Eritrean Mektel Kiflay was one of our time trial domestiques for a few years, but as you can tell this update should not be about him. Project: Africa wanted him, he wanted to return to his home continent, yet there was a matter of payment. For a team focused on African riders and African talent, it is weird to see an experienced thirty-three year old time trialist from the Czech Republic on their payroll. We later learned he had only been brought on specifically to sell to us, which could be interpreted as human trafficking by some courts in the year 2020. Anyway, Vojtech Hackecy was no where as good as his predecessor, with his only podium finish a second place at his national TT championship. We were mostly curious about how he made his debut in a team sponsored by the Moon and how we could steal it. Safe to say we weren't interested in another season and set him free.



Jordan Cheyne



Last season we had the services of Jordan Cheyne, signing for a low prize at the Azteca liquidation sale. The Canadian time trialist earned a modest 34 points, mainly from a 29th place in PTHC Deutschland Tour and two top fives in the Tour of California. He also took runner-up to Cataford in the Canadian Championships. We renewed his contract but budget troubles and interest from Glanbia saw him move over there for 150,000 bananas and Felix English. With his short and unremarkable tenure, there isn't much more to say really.



Maxime Vantomme



We hadn't really changed our sprinters line-up since promotion, so for two seasons we scored very little there. To change all that we brought in Maxime Vantomme after his dismissal from Netia. He has a Tour de France stage win to his name, had at one point finished sixth in the individual PCT rankings and was consistently in or just below the top 50. His start was promising with two top ten finishes in the Tour Down Under, but never really managed to get a better result. A P8 in Cheshire, a P6 in Norway, fifteenth in the Hanko Classic and seventeenth in Veenendaal - Veenendaal, which, due to Vesely's antics, is still our best result in that race under that name. He even scored less than his direct rival sprinter Drapac despite having better opportunities, so he wasn't the answer to our sprinters crisis. Only when we brought in Vesely and Kalaba the year after is where we got good again, but there was no place for the Belgian anymore.



Antoine Duchesne



A product of the Canadian talent farm RBC, Antoine Duchesne specialized in hilly races. He is also quite fast, so it was a surprise we could pick him up for a minimal wage at the end of last year's transfer season. However, things didn't quite work out. He finished fifteenth in Tour of Southland, which would be the majority of his points total of eighteen. He was our third-worst rider in that regard, only beating dinosaur Marquez and rookie Bjerg. Like his fellow Canadian Cheyne, he finished second in the national championships, only he did it in the road race. Despite not renewing his contract we might have offered him another season as interim hills leader, except Voyagin beat us to the punch. He has scored six points so far, which would have been six more than Stuyven currently has.



Jarlinson Pantano Gomez



Jarlinson Pantano Gomez is a Colombian climber whom we bought for 500,000 from RBC back in 2017. He would serve as super helper to Uran and helped us survive in our first PCT season. He also got a leadership opportunity for the Kenya Mountain Classic, where he finished a decent fifteenth. As helper he would be very worthful, as he helped Uran through his terrible day in their home race to salvage his fifth place, while he himself ended up fourteenth overall. But perhaps the most important moment of his season came in the Deutschland Tour where he chased after and brought back a young French climber, which paved the way for Uran to take the yellow jersey and the overall win in that race. I think his name was Lecuisinier or something, wonder what happened to that guy. We sold him with a heavy heart to Philips at the end of the season for 300,000. Our accountant told us it was a 200,000 loss, but we needed the money. A year later he went to Andorra and then spend two more at GCN, but now Jarlinson only has a virtual contract in the Virtual CT Team.



Pim Ligthart



Last year we sold South African Reinhardt Janse van Rensburg to Project: Africa. This is not another questionable moral story, but it meant we were looking for a new lead time trialist. Pim Ligthart wasn't our first choice, or our second, our or thirtieth, but he was a choice. Anyone who has ever hunted for time trialists on the free agent market know how competitive and overpriced it can get, so we ended up with an experienced but over the hill rider who has a strong dislike of riding in groups. Nevertheless, the einzelgänger brought us a stage win, the time trial in the Tour of California. Granted, it was at the lowest level and he was the favorite, but still, a win is a win. It is likely the last win of his career as he has no contract for this year and that will only get more difficult in the years to come.



Ahmed Albourdainy



Ahmed Albourdainy was a childhood friend of Tareq Esmaeli, so when the latter's father bought the team he was offered a contract as second-best Qatari rider. The two had previously teamed up at Metinvest in 2013, where Esmaeli outscored him. Ahmed would again be beaten by Tareq, simply because he didn't score any points against Tareq's one. His best performance came at the start of the season though, when the duo represented Qatar in the Asian Championships. Ahmed was allowed to go into the break, and they managed to stay away. He almost won, taking bronze. His contract was to be renewed until the ill-fated Qatari National Championships, where he agreed to let Tareq win. The road race was played well but Ahmed was too fast in the TT and beat Tareq by one second. This enraged Tareq's father, who punished Ahmed severely. He hasn't been seen or heard of ever since, likely hiding from the Sheikh.



Edvald Boasson Hagen



We saved the most legendary rider on our team for last, but not the most legendary at us. Edvald Boasson Hagen signed for a record-breaking 700,000 bananas wage, which seems accurate for a former World Champion, winner of two monuments and individual PCT winner. He was expected to finally break the puncheurs curse started by Betancourt, having finished fourteenth in the PT the year before. In wildcards he performed up to standards, taking stage P2s in the Tour of Tasmania and the Tour of Northern Europe, as well as tenth in the Ronde van Nederland. When he could score points he was a lot less active, with two stage runner-up positions in Pais Vasco as highlight, though he only finished eighteenth overall. It was a common theme for the Norwegian, not showing up in stage races. Southland, Norway, Britain, he was outperformed by Poljanski, less active than Duchesne and simply a liability to the team. Towards the end of the season his performances started picking up, a sixth place in Milano - Torino, a second place in Japan Cup and a ninth place in Giro dell'Emelia saw him end the season as our best scorer and 59th overall, his lowest in any division ever. We obviously did not give him a salary increase and released him to FA, where local CT team Tafjord Kraft picked him up. He currently sits 152nd in the individual CT standings, so we feel a legend will soon announce his retirement. We won't be sad though.

@Ulrich Ulriksen - It is the final stage of TDU 2019 indeed! Holloway used Vantomme as lead-out to get the stage and GC victory



Cheshire Cycling Tour
May 1, PTHC



Cheshire Cycling Tour used to be an actual five-day tour which saw riders being tortured over some brutal cobbles. They have tuned it down a bit by reducing it to a single day event, but obviously kept the cobblestones. Tough day if you're not named De Witte, Marcos or Sweeck.

Tikhonin went into the breakaway but dropped at the first sight of cobbles. He would finish the race, as would everyone on the team. Shoutout for not giving up!

It was clear very early on that our trio had nothing to look for here in terms of a high position, so they stuck together all race and kept it inside the top fifty for three times two equals six ranking points. De Witte won the sprint for internal honor and forty-third position.

1	Edward Theuns	MOL Cycling Team	5h04'27
43	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 7'10
44	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
46	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
114	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 17'17
132	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 23'56
134	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 24'43
147	Didier Merchan	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 30'56
164	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 37'47

Rund um Koln
May 10, PT



Our second ProTour wildcard takes us to Cologne, Germany for the Ründ um Köln, which literally translated means "Lap around Cologne". It's quite a big lap at over 200 kilometers, but at the end of the race we hope Vesely will be there in the sprint. We can't score points but we'll do with pride.

As a wildcard race we went with a full support train including Kalaba, Hodeg, Kuboki and English. However, Vesely was the only one left at the front towards the finish line. Riders had either dropped or were at the back of the peloton, and no one except the Czech would make the top 100.

Without help Vesely was positioned poorly but tried nevertheless, making up ground towards the end to finish a comendable eighth. We also lost the battle for pride against Popo4Ever, as Aniolkowski finished one place ahead as best PCT rider.

1	Caleb Ewan	ISA - Hexacta	4h48'39
8	Daniel Vesely	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
106	Dusan Kalaba	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
111	Alvaro Hodeg	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
133	Jasper Stuyven	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
150	Mikkel Bjerg	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
152	Kazushige Kuboki	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
154	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
179	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.

Tour of Chile
May 12 - May 14, C1



Sometimes you accept an invitation to a race but later realize you have no true leader to bring there. That is exactly what has happened with the Tour of Chile, a race we're attending because we had three race day allocations left and the tour has three days: a flat, hilly and mountain stage. We convinced Kalaba to attend for the opening stage while Lemus Davila and Quintana are local enough to pretend they're fan favorites.

Starting with the latter pair, they might as well have stayed home because they did not do anything at all. No attempt at a GC, no attempt at a breakaway, no attempt at doing anything really. 53rd for the Mexican and 93rd for the Colombian.

The Serbian did make an attempt to make the best of it, finishing second in the opening day sprint. Unfortunately we had a miscommunication on catching the morning breakaway of three so he only finished fifth. It seems we weren't really awake all race. Jetlag? Bad chili con carne?

1	Orluis Aular	Binance	11h28'22
53	Luis Enrique Lemus Davila	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 7'15
88	Dusan Kalaba	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 10'41
93	Dayer Quintana	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 10'59
122	Evgenii Tikhonin	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 14'27
127	Didier Merchan	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 15'36
135	Jasper Stuyven	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 16'41
145	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 18'09
184	Jerome Coppel	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 27'35

Tour du Faso
May 13 - May 15, C2



There is no race feared more than the Tour du Faso, three stages of which two include almost non-stop cobblestones. Imagine Paris-Roubaix, three days in a row but with cobbles twice as bad. We were lucky this race was hidden behind the C2HC barrier the past year, but with that category abolished it has been placed in C2. Since we have a decent cobblestone squad for that level, we decided to enter, to the dismay of everyone not named Sweeck, De Witte and Marcos.

Hopes of a good GC finish were ruined on stage one where all three contenders lost four minutes, but at least everyone finished the stage, giving Kuboki the opportunity to participate in the sprint on stage two. He finished sixth in the peloton, but obviously a six-man break ahead put him twelfth.

The final and most brutal stage thus had no pressure. Sweeck made a move on the final sector but got caught. De Witte crossed the line in eighth place, with Sweeck and Marcos in the same group in eleventh and twelfth. In terms of the GC it was eleventh, fifteenth and sixteenth in the same order. English was the only other rider to finish the stage, we are still trying to locate the other four as we speak.

1	Yves Lampaert	Colombini-Adler Aalterpaint	9h02'55
11	Mathias De Witte	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'14
15	Laurens Sweeck	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 3'18
16	Leandro Marcos	Minions - Subwoolfer	s.t.
64	Felix English	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 31'25
	Mulu Hailemichael	Minions - Subwoolfer	DNF
	Kazushige Kuboki	Minions - Subwoolfer	DNF
	Laureano Rosas	Minions - Subwoolfer	DNF
	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	DNF

Int. Osterreich Rundfahrt
May 17 - May 23, HC



A race we participate in every year is the Tour of Austria, but it will be the first time we don't attend with Uran as leader but with Cattaneo. His official debut in Colombia did not go to plan but here he has a time trial and much weaker opposition, and was placed at the top of the favorites list. Prime opportunity to show his worth.

The opening stage put an end to our hopes. Cattaneo finished 1'44 behind stage winner Oomen in fourteenth place, and lost a lot of time to most of his rivals. The second stage saw some redemption as he finished amongst his rivals and gained back time on some of them, keeping the hope of a top five alive. The other stages did not yield any differences, so he headed into the final time trial in eighth place at 2'27. He took fifth place on the stage, just beaten by Haig, and finished sixth in the GC. The deficit: 1'43. Look again at the time loss on the opening stage.

Coppel appeared in the breakaway despite the mountains, he held on to finish a very respectable tenth place. Not bad for a 36 year old! The other extreme of experience level, Bjerg finished twelfth in the TT. But the rider of the race award has to go to Hodeg, who won the third stage in a mass sprint! He was also the second fastest sprinter in the peloton on stage six behind the breakaway. The Colombian is once again a force to be reckoned with in stage races.

1	Sam Oomen	Lierse SK - Pizza Ullo PCTeam	26h02'4
6	Mattia Cattaneo	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1'43
53	Dayer Quintana	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 14'41
90	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 23'07
93	Luis Enrique Lemus Davila	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 23'33
116	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 30'09
132	Mikkel Bjerg	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 36'43
155	Jerome Coppel	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 43'29
180	Alvaro Hodeg	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 1h04'25

@redordead - I feel like the team is doing well but lacks an "amazing" result (until now)



Tour of Norway
May 27 - 31, HC



A home race for us, specifically for the galactic wolves who just finished tenth in the Eurovision Song Contest. For this race we are expecting a higher classification, as Dennis is one of the best time trialists and should be skilled enough to survive the hills, but we said the same in Pais Vasco. We also have Brown who could equally achieve a top ten finish. For the two flat stages, Kalaba is our guy.

Stage one saw Kalaba positioned in a train to finish fifth in the stage. His positioning was worse on the second stage, which also included a slight uphill finish. While everyone else in front of him ran out of energy, the Serbian did not, and won the stage! What a win coming from miles behind! It tied him for the lead in the GC, which would be lost after the TT, and the points classification, which he would keep towards the end, being awarded the green jersey on the podium.

Stage three was the all-important time trial in which Dennis finished eighth. Could be better, could be worse, but he did beat most of his direct rivals for the GC. He managed to finish in the front group on stage four, as did Brown, moving the American up to sixth in the GC and the Australian to the lead, by eight seconds over Dunbar. A nervous final stage followed but there would be no gaps or bonus seconds ruining the party, Rohan Dennis wins the Tour of Norway! We had doubts after Pais Vasco but the Australian has shown why we brought him on board!

1	Rohan Dennis	Minions - Subwoolfer	18h06'43
6	Nathan Brown	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 55
36	Mikkel Bjerg	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 6'43
55	Dusan Kalaba	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 8'40
99	Jasper Stuyven	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 12'22
129	Jerome Coppel	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 14'47
136	Savva Novikov	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 15'27
178	Jan Stöckli	Minions - Subwoolfer	+ 27'08