Recent articles has been linking Festina manager, Andreas Jøhnke with several young riders lately. Also a few riders of the newly demoted Carmeuse, now Bouygues Telecom, has been mentioned. Riders such as Morgan Kneisky has been expressing his concerns about riding the Continental Tour this season, and rumours has been made that he would be a hand-in-glove fit at the Festina outlet for a year-out loan. Morgan Kneisky is a diesel engine, with a decent timetrial, and he is believed to be a part of the Tour de France plans for the Festina setup. Manager Andreas, has previously made the following statements on Morgan Kneisky.
"He is a fantastic engine in the flat terrain. He is the kind of rider that you rarely notice because he use up the energy of himself, and others during the first 90% of the race. He would be fantastic in a Team Time Trial at our team, but unlike most timetriallists he would also be iminent at placing our sprinters well in the final 10km. He is the kind of rider that could actually put Lavoine into contention of a Tour de France stagewin, and that would mean a lot to us."
Also young oneday specialist Guillaume Levarlet has been seen as a potential Festina rider for the 2013. It is more into guessings as whether or not he would actually be available on a loan, or he would in fact be heading in Festinas direction on a more permanent leave.
The final rider that has been speculations on is belgian topsprinter Jurgen Roelandts whom should apparently fit well into the teams plans for the upcoming season.
Super Secret Plans That Might Actually Be To Crommy's Liking (aka SSPTMABTCL)
Heineken's management has suggested that he has no intention of attempting to gut Carmeuse. The plan, known as SSPTMABTCL (pronounced Fahrvergnügen) is super secret, the deats of which will be kept secret until the open of the transfer window. At this point, all will be dandy and all sides will be pleased with their end.
Rumor has it that it includes an initial investment from Crommy of a mere 1 million euros. All Crommy has to do is find two other investors to put in the same amount, and they then have to find two new investors each, and so on, and so forth.
A Nigerian prince is also rumored to be involved, but this could not be independently verified.
Roelandts and Levarlet are not for sale. I need to at least attempt to get promoted. They would only be loaned to someone for a mutually beneficial loan, or if I want to free up some wage space for a season.
Morgan Knesiky has a real possibility of leaving though
Levi4life wrote: Super Secret Plans That Might Actually Be To Crommy's Liking (aka SSPTMABTCL)
Heineken's management has suggested that he has no intention of attempting to gut Carmeuse. The plan, known as SSPTMABTCL (pronounced Fahrvergnügen) is super secret, the deats of which will be kept secret until the open of the transfer window. At this point, all will be dandy and all sides will be pleased with their end.
Rumor has it that it includes an initial investment from Crommy of a mere 1 million euros. All Crommy has to do is find two other investors to put in the same amount, and they then have to find two new investors each, and so on, and so forth.
A Nigerian prince is also rumored to be involved, but this could not be independently verified.
I can neither confirm nor deny these rumours.
No wait, yes I can. There is no way a strong, independent black woman who don't need no man, such as myself, would ever fall for such transparent scams as phantom Nigerian princes and pyramid schemes.
NARRATOR
After the liberation of the Carmeuse - Bouygues Telecom headquarters, then the subsequent trial at the ICC of Crommy (in which he managed to escape charges by somehow convincing the courts that all the crimes were committed by a small slice of Edam), we finally get a conference with what are potentially real members of the press.
CROMMY
Good evening waiter. Can we just have a bottle of the 59 Chateau Lafite to be getting on with?
REPORTER
Can you sum up your season in one word?
CROMMY
Yes
REPORTER
And that word is?
CROMMY
*Consults notes for several minutes* I'm sorry, I don't understand the question
REPORTER
If you had to sum up the team's season in one word, what would that word be?
CROMMY
I'm still not entirely sure what you mean?
NARRATOR
Crommy then summons three interpreters, who translate the question from English to ASL, then from ASL to Cantonese, then finally from Cantonese to a series of looks of mild disapproval.
CROMMY
Well that's not a very good question. But to answer that question, which I really wish it to be put on the record, is not a very good one, I would answer with one word, because that's what the not particularly good question asks me to do. And that word, would of course be: fuck.
NARRATOR
Crommy proceeds to give himself a ten minute standing ovation.
REPORTER
What are your plans for next season? What's going to happen Taaramae, and Roelandts and Cancellara?
CROMMY
Well, my accountant says that due to the international community putting trade embargoes and other financial measures upon my person, it is of course not going to be possible to keep all three. One of them will have to go, and I'm not going to be able to tell you which one will be leaving, because I'm bound by several legally binding confidentiality agreements not to say which of them it is. But it will be Fabian who will be leaving...
...
...
...
Fuck
REPORTER
Now you're a Continental team, any change in strategy in the forthcoming transfer season?
CROMMY
HELLO RJC_43! I THOUGHT YOU LOANING MY RIDERS LAST YEAR FOR EXPERIENCE WAS JUST SWELL. I WOULD LIKE TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU THIS YEAR. JUST SEND ME RIDERS WHO YOU WANT 50K OF THEIR WAGE PAID, AND I WILL TAKE THEM ON. I MIGHT ALSO SERVICE YOU SEXUALLY, BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE, BECAUSE I HAVE A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN.
OKAY RJC_43, GOODBYE.
...
We're looking to foster our positive relations with both CountArach of Bpost and rjc_43, and look for mutually beneficial loans. We're also looking for link ups with other managers and teams in terms of loans and transfers, so long as they play nice. And are preferably French, or can put on an outrageous French accent.
REPORTER
Final question: do you think you'll get promoted back to the ProTour?
CROMMY
Good heavens, no
REPORTER
Any final thoughts?
CROMMY
The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish. . .
Soldiers: don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.
Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers: don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty.
In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written:
- "The kingdom of God is within man"
Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men; in you, the people.
You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let's use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy: let us all unite!
Edited by Crommy on 23-10-2012 21:46
After a brief paperwork error (sorry CountArach!), the Bouygues Telecom team are literally presenting the 2013 goals for the team. In what might possibly be alphabetical order:
1
PCT Team Standings
Top 5
2
Giro del Trentino
Win
3
Kenya Mountain Classic
Top 5
4
Eneco Tour
Top 5
5
Corsica International
Top 5
Theo Bos shall be our leader in all these races. Hence, I urge everyone else not to waste race days, and send your riders elsewhere.
Bouygues Telecom are delighted to announce that all the riders have renewed with the team. Apart from those that haven't. Anyway, here are the new wages for the riders
Rumour has it that the team may be built around a certain Dutch sprinter. Alexandre Aulas, Jens Debusschere and Willem Van Den Eynde shall be leaving the team. As will some others because we've gone over our salary cap. In fact, at least four riders will be for sale. Including Cancellara. Who's salary may or may not actually be €50,000.
Bushwackers wrote:
Well looks like Cancellara won't be riding for UBS
Why not? His wage is far cheaper than it would have been in the free agency, and I listen to any offers
I failed all my goals and have very little money. Of course I will definitely make an offer when the time comes, but I think that other teams would probably be able to give you a better deal.
However, with rumours that Crommy will sell every rider in order to activate Jan Bakelants' phantom release clause (and continue his court-mandated rehab course), whether all the riders who are stated above to stay will be staying remains to be seen.
Which basically means I'll consider any sensible offer for any rider.
Edited by Crommy on 03-12-2012 19:55
