At the beginning of each season we have to set ourselves five goals for the season. Their accomplishment or failure thereof is an indicator for the men in suits which decide our budget for next season. So they're very important. How did we do in them this season?

Tour of the Middle East

Top 5

With twelve racedays the longest event on our calendar, and the unofficial 'Continental Tour Grand Tour'. Martinez finished fourth here two years ago, for a different team yes but he might replicate his performance.

After four stages, Martinez occupied fifth position, one minute from the lead. After stage eight he was in fourth. However, due to having a bad day on stages nine and ten he dropped to ninth, not being able to recover any positions in the TT.

This goal is failed. Martinez was looking good for a while but the competition was too strong and he was too weak. Ninth place is where he should objectively belong. Despite not achieving the goal, we did win two stages courtesy to Sarmiento and Barton, so we can't call this race a total failure.

Tour de Pologne

Top 5

Last year Kinney won stage 6, and finished third in the GC, the reason we also set a goal here. With support from Milan and hometown hero Lejman he would be able to produce another great race.

In reality though, he couldn't emulate his performances. He was there or thereabout, but couldn't quite challenge for that top 5, settling for ninth. Lejman finished 14th, Milan 19th.

Again, a race where we or one of our riders did well in the past and whilst still having a decent race (Manarelli won the final stage btw), we didn't achieve the preset goal.

Volcan de Agua Classic

Win

We have never raced here before, the route is made up and down a volcano, and our best climber is only third-tier, more a stage racer. Yet we have a win goal here, because it's in Guatemala, our shell company/HQ country. It is ambitious but we might shoot ourselves in the foot.

Martinez was not up to the task, finishing outside the top 10.

The population of Guatemala wasn't happy at all with our performance, so much so they forced us out of the country. We can call this worst than failed.

USA Pro Cycling Challenge

Top 5

Three out of three failed, so we had to select a race where we have achieved a goal before. Last year Haga won a stage to salvage the season, now we have to score a top-5 with (again) Martinez.

The time trial on stage 4, which Haga won last year, was on the menu again and this time Martinez won it, taking the GC lead in the process. He lost the jersey in the next stage but remained in the top 5 for the remainder of the race, ending up fourth. He actually should've finished third but some Ukrainian dude had a good race.

YES! We have achieved a goal, finish in the top 5 of the GC. The upperlords will give us a bit of money for next season.

CT Team Standings

Top 10

Someone who has been following us for a little while knows we had this goal last season and the season before that, failing on both occasions with a 17th and 24th place respectively. Continuing the trend we should finish in exactly tenth, and therefore achieve the goal.

During the season we were heavily battling for promotion, as can be seen in a previous post. At no update during the season were we outside the top 10, and after June we weren't outside the top-5. Our fourth place in the final standings is enough to see us promoted to PCT!

And we also achieved the goal, providing a little extra budget needed to transform the team to a PCT-worthy outfit.

Overview

2/5, 40%. Better than last two seasons where we achieved only one goal each season. And yet with our great season there was opportunity to accomplish more goals, but we did it on terrain we hadn't raced on for victories. Therefore we decided not to focus on cobbles or sprints, where we might've gained the most points this season, especially compared to last seasons where these specialities were non-existant within our team. For next year we can focus on any terrain we want to.

The battle for the rainbow jersey will be hosted by the city of Krakow in Poland this year. As a CT team, we can't expect the victory but nevertheless we have some participants in multiple events.

Profiles:

TTT:

TT:

RR:


Cobbles with hills, should be hard and fun.

Team:

Edwin Avila (B RR)
Chris Barton (TTT)
Jhonnatan De Leon (-23 RR)
Mark Griffith (TTT)
Chad Haga (TTT)
Nick Kinney (RR)
Jakob Rathe (RR)

No rider will take part in multiple races. Three of our riders will tackle the TTT fr Team USA, whereas Kinney and Rathe will support leader Summerhill in a bid for the title. Avila is selected for Colombia's squad in the B race despite his inability to both climb and cobble. De Leon can ride the Junior race.

B RR:

No surprise, Avila did not finish.

TTT:

Despite a strong squad, which includes (at the time) triple individual champion Phinney, the bookmakers didn't consider Team USA as a favourite. We couldn't prove them wrong, finishing ninth over a minute down on the Netherlands.



-23 RR:

De Leon didn't finish the race but his teammate Gonzalez finished sixth. Apparently there are other cyclists in Guatemala which don't ride for our team.

RR:

The big event of them all, and the goal for Kinney and Rathe was simple: protect Summerhill. Unfortunately the leader went down with 75 kilometers to go, effectively ruining our entire race. Both men did finish the race though, Rathe at exactly 100th place (+23'32) and Kinney at 120th (+30'21)

Rating:



No rainbow jersey for us next season, but an unicorn sighting was more likely than us winning it

At the end of each seasons, the best cyclists from all countries around the globe come together to battle for the championship jersey of their respective nations. You might see that Esmaeli rode in a special brown jersey, and that Martinez wore a jersey in TT's that was resembling Cuba's flag. Well, here you have your answers. Let's look at how our Minions did this year.

Australia

A flat NC, which seems good for Damion Drapac. He's in with a shot at victory unless the break breaks his dreams. They didn't, and he finished fifth in the resulting bunch sprint, only just behind some PT sprinters.



Bahamas

Our young talent Jay Major won his first major price by winning the major Road Race. Then he won his second major price by winning the major TT. This is a major performance by him.

Barbados

Darren Matthews is somehow the only professional cyclist from this country despite a team being registered there (but probably due to tax reasons just like us). Therefore he had no opposition and won both the RR and the TT.

Belgium

Like most NC's, the Belgian one was won from the break. Unfortunately Kenny De Haes wasn't in it. He finished just inside the top 20.

Brazil

A mountain course was not cut for Carlos Alexandre Manarelli. He didn't finish the RR and was also far off the TT title.

Colombia

On a mountainious course, for some reason Edwin Avila went into the break instead of Cayetano Sarmiento. The former stood no chance against his opponents and finished 7 minutes behind the winner in seventh and last, the latter did not finish like the other more capable climbers. Both were amongst the five worst in the TT.

Cuba

Three other Cuban professional cyclists decided not to participate in their national championships, leaving only two riders. Both of them are under our contract. They decided to make an agreement and let Yasmani Martinez continue his reign as TT-champion while Leandro Marcos would take the road race without the former's interference.




Dominican Republic

Out of a population of ten million, the only rider who entered the NC was Diego Milan, which means another double NC.

Guatemala

50 percent of the startlist is ours, and we surely want to show the Guatemalan population that we did care a little bit after all. Well, no, we're bad at lying. We instructed both our riders, Jhonnatan De Leon and Nervin Jiatz to lose on purpose, as a last middle finger to the country.

Poland

We might just as well not have travelled all the way here for Gracjan Lejman's disappointment. 26th out of 31 in the road race and 31st of 31 in the time trial. Given his performances this season we did not expect anything better.

Qatar

As every year Tareq Esmaeli wins the Qatari double without any opposition. Since he's technically still under contract with us we can count it as another win, but we'll most likely not produce a special Qatari NC kit.

United States

Biggest amount of riders, but also the strongest competitors. A team consisting of Chris Barton, Nick Kinney, Mark Griffith, Jakob Rathe and Ethan Weiss, with Chad Haga and Bjorn Selander riding for Movistar. The RR victory went to the break which unfortunately was too strong for us. Weiss of all people won the bunch sprint for fifth. For the time trial, we knew Phinney and Bookwalter are too strong, but Griffith rode an exceptional time trial finishing third. Barton and Haga finished joint fifth with the exact same time.

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And this concludes our last set of races under the name Chiquita - Universal, possibly the last race of the Minions as well. We've heard they're trying to sell the racing license to anyone who offers them a banana.

Two riders were technically under our contract but never rode a kilometer for us this season. They did this in the colors of Movistar - US Postal in the Pro Tour, to gain some valuable experience. We're talking about Chad Haga and Bjorn Selander. How did they fare this season, let's take a look!

Chad Haga

Chad made his PT debut in the Badaling International, followed by the Tour of Qatar. His first notable result came in the Tirreno-Adriatico, where he finished 58th in the GC. After a DNF in the cobbles classic East Midlands, he went to Pais Vasco and helped the team score a fifth place in the team time trial and helped leader Van Garderen to the GC podium.

He made his monument debut in Ronde van Vlaanderen, finishing 164th but not last. Then came his outing in a Grand Tour, the Giro. He and his teammates nearly won the time trial on stage 3, finishing second, which saw him move up to 28th in the GC. He dropped to around 50th place after two weeks. His first TV time came when he went into the break on stage 19. Stage 20 was a time trial, and his 38th place would be his best individual position. After 21 stages Chad's final GC position was 54th. Warbasse won two stages for the team.



Afterwards he participated in the Ardennes classics, with 71st in Liege-Bastogne-Liege as best result. Chad received further air time in the Tour of the Czech Republic, going into the break on stage 2, becoming seventh in the KoM.



Arguably his best race of the season was the mountainious Tour de Suisse. He again helped the team to a second place in a time trial, and finished 54th and 56th on two mountain arrivals. Add to that his 59th place in the TT would bring him 55th in the GC. A 64th place in Manx International was followed by a breakaway attempt for the GP Moscow. Chad and his compatriots were caught 20 kilometers before the line. His teammate Maksimov would finish second.



Chad did not finish the Vuelta a Colombia after a brutal stage took all of his energy. His final two races of the season were Malmo-Copenhagen TTT, where he and his team finished sixth, and the Giro di Lombardia, where he finished 145th.



Bjorn Selander

Bjorn's season began at the Badaling International as well. He then flew back to Belgium for the Flemish opening weekend, with a 47th in Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne. He then went to Luxembourg for Classique du Grand Duche, where his teammates Garcia and Van Garderen scored a one-two. His first monument was Milano - San Remo, finishing 133th. Next stops on the calendar were Tour d'Afrique and E3 Prijs, without noteworthy results.

But then came his home race, Tour of California. He went into the break on stage three and secured the KoM jersey. He kept it after the next stage and tried to defend it by going into the break again on stage 5, but lost the jersey to Koretzky who would keep it until the end. Bjorn finished third but had kept a nice souvenir to brag about next season.



Like his fellow loanee Bjorn participated in the Ardennes triple header and did noticably better at those. 26th in Amstel Gold Race, 90 in Fleche Wallone and 42nd in Liege-Bastogne-Liege, all in support of Van Garderen. He then went to La Vuelta. He did decent in the first two weeks, scoring some top 50s, but his first moment to shine came on stage 14, where he joined the break which nearly made it to the end. He finished that stage in 20th. He tried again on the 21st and final stage, and this time he managed to stay ahead of the peloton. He sprinted to third out of seven. His GC position was just outside the top 100, with Van Garderen finishing inside the top 10.



His worst moment of the season came in Critetium du Dauphine Libere, where he had to abandon on the first stage. After a easy ride in Manx International to recover from this deception, he showed up in Deutschland Tour. The first five stages he placed 65th, 56th, 73rd, 54th and 63rd. On stage six he acted as leadout for Van Garderen on the final climb, who would finish secon with Bjorn down in 47th. After a 43rd place on the next stage, he went into the break for the eight and final stage, and was only caught in the final three kilometers. His final GC position was 42nd, and 20th in the KoM.



Tour of Tasmania was the second-a-last stop on his calendar, but he still had energy left to join the first stage's morning breakaway. It was a right move as Bjorn could again sprint to victory, crossing the line third again. After the three stages he would be 41st in the GC and eight in the points classification. His season finale was Giro di Lombardia, ending it only one place outside the top 100.



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We look forward to having them back on our team in the PCT next season, if we have a team to begin with that is.

The season is done, we finished in fourth place and therefore achieved promotion. Problem: we don’t have the resources to keep the team alive for the upcoming season. We will most likely sell our license to the highest bidder who can then start a new team at Pro Continental level. We already started advertising outside our carton box office. Just 100 bananas would buy you a cycling team.

After a while where there was absolutely no interest, a mysterious man approached us, wearing a hat, sunglasses and a dark suit. He approached Sir Kevin, our Minion in charge, and offered 1000 bananas. The offer was accepted. When the man took off his hat and sunglasses, the Minions were shocked. It was Tareq Esmaeli, who had just bought the team’s license. He told the gathering that he asked his father, rich Qatari oil Sheikh Mohammed Thani Hassan bin Esmaeli to help the Minions. He gave his son enough bananas to buy the license, which will be held by the Sheikh.

The Sheikh only has one demand: that his son will ride for his team until the end. How everything is organised, who will be in charge and under what sponsorship or management we will ride is still uncertain at the moment, but one thing is sure: the Minions are not out of cycling. We are stronger than ever, and looking forward to the Pro Continental Tour. We are still here!

Mr Esmaeli, thank you for holding this interview. First of all, what are your motives behind taking over a cycling team, and this cycling team in particular?

Well, as you may know one of sons Tareq is a professional cyclist and multiple Qatari champion. He also has a weird love for bananas, so when the Chiquita - Universal team was founded he quickly signed a contract there. The team got into financial and political trouble this year and my son had to leave the team with a broken heart. After it became clear the team wouldn't survive he begged me to take over the team.

How did the people from within the team responds to the takeover?

Well, the people who run the team on a daily basis, I think they're called Minions, are very excited by the news. They've been hugging me and my son for the last few days straight.

Isn't it getting on your nerves a bit?

Well, not really. I can see my son is very happy and they are as well, and I'm not the kind of tyrant who would hire thousands of workers from poor countries you know. Minions will do it for only bananas.

Are you aware bananas don't grow in Qatar?

Well, of course I am. But I have my contacts where I can import bananas against a reasonable fee.

How did the riders respond?

Well, most of them are happy they won't have to seek a new team, which could be difficult for some. I will definitely negotiate contracts with every rider who wishes to say, even those who publically stated they would leave the team. If they changed their mind, the door is open.

It has been reported by some media that your only condition is for Tareq to continue riding for the team?

Well, there's a truth to that. As long as Tareq wants to ride for this team he will get a contract to ride. Not like last season where he only rode two races, but full schedule. He's the first rider who has received a new contract after his old one was already annulled. But I have a second condition as well, which is for the Minions to continue contributing to the team for as long as I hold the license.

That's great news. Can you tell some more details regarding name, nationality and staff et cetera?

Well of course I can. The team name will be Minions, we will ride on a Qatari license and the former staff will continue to operate on the team. The jersey is not yet finalised but we have people working on that as we speak.

Are there any transfer targets for the upcoming transfer season?

Well, it's too early to talk about that. We don't yet know who will be on the market and who not, and it's too early to speculate.

Do you notice you start every answer with "Well,"?

Well, I might do that yes.

Well, best of luck for the upcoming season and the seasons to come.

Thank you