Flashback to last season where Haga won the fourth stage in the USA Pro Cycling Classic, a hilly time trial. This year that exact same stage is on the menu again, but Haga now spends his time in PT. But we have someone else up our sleeves...



Yasmani Martinez wins the stage in his Red-White-Blue Cuban NC jersey!

We carry warm feelings towards this race. Last year was a huge success with a stage win for Haga and a GC podium for Martinez. This year we set a not overly ambitious goal here: a top 5.

Profiles:



Flat stages which aren't really flat, and then a lot of hills and mountain including a carbon copy of last years time-trial. In fact the entire route seems an exact replica.

Team:

Chris Barton
Jhonnatan De Leon
Nervin Jiatz
Nick Kinney
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Yasmani Martinez
Cayetano Sarmiento
Ethan Weiss

No surprise Martinez is here to emulate his performance last year in his final racedays of the season. Manarelli will take care of the sprints when they happen, and we also have Weiss who might finally shine in his home race.

Stage 1:

It appeared to become a mass sprint, but then we surprised everyone by letting Kinney attack. Manarelli was attached to the wheel of the other sprinters. Our surprise move didn't bring us a victory but a good third-fourth place.



Stage 2:

The first mountain stage with a downhill finish. The stage wasn't raced very hard, so a gig group of GC favourites battle it out on the line. Martinez finished fifth.



Stage 3:

The flattest stage in the race and this time we went fully for Manarelli. Only Docker could beat him, but unfortunately he rides for one of our competitors in the standings.



Stage 4:

The ever so familiar time trial. Kinney overtook Garby, one of the GC favourites, en route and became the owner of the hot seat for a very long time with some TT-specialist failing to beat his time.



One TT-specialist did beat his time and that was the Cuban National Champion. And that's our Martinez. He would win the same stage Haga won last year. Kinney would finish fifth. Martinez also takes the GC lead.



Stage 5:

Martinez lost the jersey on the final wall, but is still looking good for a GC-podium.

Stage 6:

No differences amongst the GC-men and no notable result to report.

Stage 7:

The Cuban needs 15 seconds to dethrone Grivko for the final podium spot, which should be doable given he's a much more capable climber. Tvechov put in a monster ride to win the race, De La Cruz was also ahead but behind them for a long time chasing was Martinez. Unfortunately he imploded in the final kilometers and finished behind the wheel of... Grivko. Fourth place in the GC remains.



Stage 8:

The break took it, no Minion in it. We haven't seen Weiss in the break all race long.

Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Serghei Tvetcov	cycleYorkshire s/b ASDA-Savers	30h13'18
2	David De la Cruz	Team Ticos Air Costa Rica	+ 4'00
3	Andrei Grivko	Ferrero - Samruk	+ 5'41
4	Yasmani Martinez	Chiquita - Universal	+ 5'56
5	Jonathan Salinas	Xero Racing p/b Octagon	+ 6'58
39	Jhonnatan De Leon	Chiquita - Universal	+ 20'01
46	Cayetano Sarmiento	Chiquita - Universal	+ 23'16
74	Chris Barton	Chiquita - Universal	+ 38'32
75	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal	+ 38'38
101	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	+ 51'07
116	Ethan Weiss	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1h03'21
159	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1h55'29

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	288
2	Damion Drapac	171
3	Nick Kinney	160
4	Kenny De Haes	112
5	Leandro Marcos	94
6	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	97
7	Diego Milan	70
8	Darren Matthews	63
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
12	Ethan Weiss	17
13	Gracjan Lejman	16
14	Mark Griffth	9
15	Edwin Avila	6
16	Tareq Esmaeli	2
17	Nervin Jiatz	1
18	Jakob Rathe	1
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



But we achieved a goal!

Third consevutive year we're here and we still can't correctly spell or pronounce the race name.

Profiles:



One word: cobblestones

Team:

Edwin Avila
Kenny De Haes
Jhonnatan De Leon
Nervin Jiatz
Jay Major
Leandro Marcos
Darren Matthews
Jakob Rathe

We have a former winner in our team with De Haes, who won this race two years ago (for a different team). Rathe finished third in that race which is the first time we achieved a sponsor goal. Carribians Marcos and Matthews will target a high classification for some depth points.

Race:

There was a crash early on in the race which involved De Haes. A big fraction of the team brought him back to the peloton but not with ease.



There were numerous attacks including Drucker from rival team Isostar, but it came down to a reduced bunch sprint of around 30 riders with all our four cobblers inside it. De Haes had recovered enough to participate at the front, but came short of Thomas. Second place is for our Belgian though which is great given his earlier crash. Rathe and Matthews finish 12th and 14th, with Marcos a bit further down in 22nd.



Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Geraint Thomas	Podium Ambition	4h22'51
2	Kenny De Haes	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
3	Sébastien Turgot	Schuh powered by Wiggle	s.t.
4	Wei Cheng Lee	Carlsberg - Danske Bank	s.t.
5	Bert-Jan Lindeman	TVM - Beslist.nl	s.t.
12	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
14	Darren Matthews	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
22	Leandro Marcos	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
43	Jay Major	Chiquita - Universal	+ 4'25
74	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	+ 13'04
78	Edwin Avila	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
100	Jhonnatan De Leon	Chiquita - Universal	+ 17'09

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	288
2	Damion Drapac	171
3	Nick Kinney	160
4	Kenny De Haes	144
5	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	97
6	Leandro Marcos	95
7	Diego Milan	70
8	Darren Matthews	69
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
12	Ethan Weiss	17
13	Gracjan Lejman	16
14	Mark Griffth	9
15	Jakob Rathe	9
16	Edwin Avila	6
17	Tareq Esmaeli	2
18	Nervin Jiatz	1
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



Great recovery ride

Previously we reported on the riots in the streets of Guatemala City, targeting the Minions in particular. The police, the government and Chiquita protected us, but now the latter has withdrawn itself it also stopped our protection. The government and the police are indirectly controlled by Chiquita in this banana republic, and therefore from one day to another we no longer felt save.

The protesters knew this was their opportunity and stormed the HQ. Luckily the doors were locked and strong enough to keep them outside, but some windows were destroyed and the Minions couldn’t escape. They had no choice but to leave the HQ, the city and the country. So in the middle of the night, when most protesters were asleep, we packed all our stuff and left in a top classified operation. Everyone made it safely across the border with Mexico, and no one from our side got injured in the process. We’re looking to cross back into the USA and temporarily manage the team from there.

When Guatemala City woke up and noticed the Minions had fled, people went onto the streets in celebration. The former HQ was burned to the ground. This day will go into history as the day Guatemala was liberated from the Minions. De Leon and Jiatz, our two Guatemalans, are not available for comment and will continue to ride for the team until further notice.

You wonder how the Greek government can afford a cycling race when they can't do much else.

Profiles:



The Acropolis is a hill where the Greek gods used to live, if I paid enough attention in history class. Right now it's ruined.

Team:

Jhonnatan De Leon
Nervin Jiatz
Nick Kinney
Gracjan Lejman
Jay Major
Leandro Marcos
Diego Milan
Cayetano Sarmiento

Kinney is undoubtly the leader here, as he is in every hilly classic when Lejman decides to be useless.

Race:

The winner was some African dude from the break, who to be fair rode a great race. Our best finisher was Kinney in sixth place, with Milan in the points as well in 13th. And Lejman? Don't bother asking.

Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Cedric Thaouta	La Poste p/b Mavic	4h41'49
2	Enrico Barbin	Ferrero - Samruk	+ 42
3	Marc De Maar	Carlsberg - Danske Bank	s.t.
4	Gasore Hategeka	MOL - OMW Petrom	s.t.
5	Simon Yates	Podium Ambition	+ 1'24
6	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
13	Diego Milan	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
68	Gracjan Lejman	Chiquita - Universal	+ 3'08
72	Leandro Marcos	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
74	Jhonnatan De Leon	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
78	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
116	Cayetano Sarmiento	Chiquita - Universal	+ 9'31
128	Jay Major	Chiquita - Universal	+ 11'11

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	303
2	Nick Kinney	191
3	Damion Drapac	175
4	Kenny De Haes	144
5	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	97
6	Leandro Marcos	95
7	Diego Milan	88
8	Darren Matthews	69
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Gracjan Lejman	19
12	Ethan Weiss	19
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
14	Jakob Rathe	9
15	Mark Griffth	9
16	Edwin Avila	6
17	Nervin Jiatz	4
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



At least we didn't put the Greeks in a deeper economic crisis

A flat stage with both Drapac and Manarelli in our squad. Earlier stages didn't go to well but in the fifth stage of the Herald Sun Tour they found themselves at the front. Everyone expected the latter to lead out the former but then their tactical geniosity fooled everyone.



Carlos Alexandre Manarelli was our main man for the sprint.

A race Down Under, which has changed a lot over the years. Yet it will be our first participation.

Profiles:



Four flat stages and a time trial.

Team:

Edwin Avila
Kenny De Haes
Damion Drapac
Mark Griffith
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Darren Matthews
Jakob Rathe
Ethan Weiss

In a dangerous move we bring all our three top sprinters: Avila, Drapac and Manarelli. Griffith might be for the GC but we can definitely see some 0.1% inclines on the route, which means he will get dropped.

Stage 1:

Avila was played out today because the sprint was slightly uphill. After battling for a top 5, he finished 8th.



Stage 2:

Rathe in the break, collecting some points but then dropping back. In the peloton there was a big crash which included Avila. Also, Griffith was dropped and our GC hopes flew away. Drapac and Manarelli couldn't figure out who should lead and both finished outside the top 10. One positive is Rathe leading the youth classification.

Stage 3:

As early starter Griffith was in the hot seat for a long time. Three riders beat his time, putting him down to fourth. Matthews entered the top 15.



Stage 4:

Rathe in the break again. Parts of it made it ahead of the peloton, but of course he was the first one to be dropped. Avila took the peloton sprint but only for 6th.

Stage 5:

A split with just a few kilometers to go saw five of our riders go head to head with Podium Ambition. Manarelli appeared to leadout Drapac but in a clever tactical manouvre Drapac dropped, giving Manarelli a big gap and a easy win. Matthews fourth (11th in GC), De Haes 10th, Drapac 11th, Avila 14th.



Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Kiril Yatsevich	The Spark Project p/b Bollé	13h09'42
2	Alexander Wetterhall	Spotify - Haglöfs	+ 3
3	Sten Stenersen	Spotify - Haglöfs	+ 11
4	Andrew Tennant	Isostar - Adriatic	+ 24
5	Ian Stannard	cycleYorkshire s/b ASDA-Savers	s.t.
11	Darren Matthews	Chiquita - Universal	+ 41
21	Ethan Weiss	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1'08
42	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1'41
49	Kenny De Haes	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1'53
54	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	Chiquita - Universal	+ 2'06
61	Damion Drapac	Chiquita - Universal	+ 2'18
88	Edwin Avila	Chiquita - Universal	+ 6'46
136	Mark Griffith	Chiquita - Universal	+ 24'02

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	303
2	Nick Kinney	191
3	Damion Drapac	175
4	Kenny De Haes	144
5	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	109
6	Leandro Marcos	95
7	Diego Milan	88
8	Darren Matthews	83
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Ethan Weiss	21
12	Gracjan Lejman	19
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
14	Mark Griffth	11
15	Jakob Rathe	10
16	Edwin Avila	8
17	Nervin Jiatz	4
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



Our squad might've been too good here.

The main event for the upcoming top cyclists. 10 racedays in France to gin valuable experience amongst their age group.

Profiles:



A mixture of everything for the -23 talents.

Team:

Jhonnatan De Leon
Jay Major

Our only two eligible riders are De Leon and Major, and we don't expect them to be the major stars. They will ride under the Azteca colors together with Orue and Richardson, De Vos and Owen from Podium Ambition and de facto leader Cataford from RBC.

Race:

Major did not attend the bunch sprints in the first stages, but his best result came on stage 6 with a 19th place. Overall he finished 113th out of 130.

De Leon was much more visible in the race, supporting team leader Cataford where possible. The Canadian finished just inside the top 10 thanks to his time trial victory on stage 9. Our Guatemalan best result was a 16th place on stage 7, and finishing inside the top 20 in the other mountain stages. This was good enough for 13th place in the GC, over half an hour behind winner Kudus.

Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Merhawi Kudus	Kenya Airways - Dimension Data	39h00'03
2	Silvio Herklotz	Ayubowan!	+ 36
3	Yuriy Vasyliv	Isostar - Adriatic	+ 2'36
4	Valens Ndayisenga	Kenya Airways - Dimension Data	+ 7'56
5	Stefan Kung	Sauber Petronas Racing	+ 9'47
10	Alexandor Cataford	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 24'34
13	Jhonnatan De Leon	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 34'14
17	Adam De Vos	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 37'30
33	Logan Owen	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 59'19
84	Chequan Richardson	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 1h45'24
113	Jay Major	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 2h18'13
120	German Anibal Orue	Azteca - NBCSN	+ 2h27'34

Rating:



Results don't matter, it's all about the experience

A bottle of vodka convinced us to race here, that's the only reason I can imagine.

Profiles:



Apparently this town has a hill and they feel the need to let us ride up it multiple times.

Team:

Jhonnatan De Leon
Mark Griffith
Nervin Jiatz
Nick Kinney
Gracjan Lejman
Jay Major
Leandro Marcos
Diego Milan

Expected puncheurs squad. Not world class but looking for a top-10.

Race:

A mass sprint up the final ascent. Kinney, Lejman and Milan were well positioned, finishing ninth, fifteenth and thirteenth respectively.



Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Enrico Barbin	Ferrero - Samruk	5h31'59
2	Simon Yates	Podium Ambition	s.t.
3	Gasore Hategeka	MOL - OMW Petrom	s.t.
4	Matthias Krizek	Ferrero - Samruk	s.t.
5	Elia Favilli	MOL - OMW Petrom	s.t.
9	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
13	Diego Milan	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
15	Gracjan Lejman	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
37	Leandro Marcos	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
48	Jay Major	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
57	Jhonnatan De Leon	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
119	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
161	Mark Griffith	Chiquita - Universal	+ 9'26

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	303
2	Nick Kinney	208
3	Damion Drapac	175
4	Kenny De Haes	144
5	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	109
6	Diego Milan	97
7	Leandro Marcos	95
8	Darren Matthews	83
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Gracjan Lejman	26
12	Ethan Weiss	21
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
14	Mark Griffth	11
15	Jakob Rathe	10
16	Edwin Avila	8
17	Nervin Jiatz	4
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



Most importantly we gained a few points on the opposition for promotion

After the Guatemalan population forced us out of the country we’ve been travelling to the US, looking to restart operations there. We tried to enter our old HQ, but since some American movie company which used to be our sponsor denied us access we can’t go there. We tried to move to the town of Minions in Cornwall, but our budget was simply too low to travel there. In fact we don’t have any budget.

We have no sponsors and no headquarters. We negotiated with clothing store Banana Republic but we dropped out after hearing they couldn’t provide actual bananas. We currently manage the team from a carton box on the streets of LA, and our primary source of income is people giving us pennies because they think we’re homeless. From those pennies we buy bananas which we use to pay the riders, but it’s by far not enough to cover everything, and some greedy Minions eat them instead of spending them on useful stuff like paying wages and materials. But they’re hungry, so who blames them?

Several riders have already announced they will leave the remains of the team after the season. De Leon and Jiatz don’t want problems back home, De Haes, Griffith, Lejman and Rathe have had enough and Esmaeli has left a long time ago. The future is very uncertain. The Minions might not participate in cycling next season, or ever again.

A race in Africa on roads which aren't really roads to be honest. More a 10 meters wide gap between two bushes.

Profiles:



Two stages are dominated by this bad surface which they think will favor the cobblestone specialists. The second stage is more sprinter-friendly.

Team:

Kenny De Haes
Damion Drapac
Mark Griffith
Nervin Jiatz
Jay Major
Leandro Marcos
Darren Matthews
Jakob Rathe

The cobblestone four are all here to conquer the roads. Drapac for stage two if he survives stage one in reasonable shape.

Stage 1:

Not one of our cobblestones specialists, but Drapac surprisingly in the first peleton when a split happened. When we entered another unexisting path he was dropped back. Everyone lost two minutes.

Stage 2:

After his adventure yesterday, Drapac was not capable of producing an almighty sprint. Outside the top ten even.

Stage 3:

Griffith went into the break which was the only way he could possibly survive this stage inside the time limit. Spoiler alert: he didn't. An early split caused all of our riders to be dropped but Rathe brought the group back. Then another selection happened and everyone lost a further four minutes. Great.

Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Geraint Thomas	Podium Ambition	9h13'55
2	Jempy Drucker	Isostar - Adriatic	+ 19
3	Przemyslaw Kasperkiewicz	Team Ticos Air Costa Rica	+ 1'20
4	Marc De Maar	Carlsberg - Danske Bank	+ 1'41
5	Bert-Jan Lindeman	TVM - Beslist.nl	+ 2'08
20	Leandro Marcos	Chiquita - Universal	+ 6'24
28	Kenny De Haes	Chiquita - Universal	+ 7'30
31	Darren Matthews	Chiquita - Universal	+ 8'18
32	Jakob Rathe	Chiquita - Universal	s.t.
34	Damion Drapac	Chiquita - Universal	+ 8'34
80	Jay Major	Chiquita - Universal	+ 17'58
116	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	+ 38'02
	Mark Griffith	Chiquita - Universal	DNF

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	303
2	Nick Kinney	208
3	Damion Drapac	175
4	Kenny De Haes	144
5	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	109
6	Leandro Marcos	100
7	Diego Milan	97
8	Darren Matthews	83
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Chris Barton	26
11	Gracjan Lejman	26
12	Ethan Weiss	21
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
14	Mark Griffth	11
15	Jakob Rathe	10
16	Edwin Avila	8
17	Nervin Jiatz	4
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



Say bye bye to that beloved fourth place in the Continental Rankings.

Our last race of the season is Ruta America del Sur, which amongst other countries takes part in Brazil. Carlos Alexandre Manarelli is from Brazil, and wants to show something in front of his home fans.



And he did something more than just showing, he won!

After winning stage 6 we weren't content, we need more points to protect our fourth place in the standings. So what did we do on stage 7?



Wearing the points jersey, Carlos Alexandre Manarelli won again!

Final race of the season, a race around the 4 southernmost South American countries.

Profiles:



Starting off with a prologue, followed by a mixture of flat and hilly stages.

Team:

Nick Kinney
Gracjan Lejman
Jay Major
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Leandro Marcos
Darren Matthews
Diego Milan
Ethan Weiss

First mention is for Manarelli, who is from Brazil and will visit his home country in this race, where he hopes to snatch a sprint victory. GC-wise, Kinney will lead with support from Milan and Weiss.

Stage 1:

A surprisingly good 4400 meters from Matthews who, unknown to the cameras, put in a time good enough for fourth place!

Stage 2:

Classified flat but a very long climb in the middle. Manarelli was there to finish it off but had to let the victory go to Cimolai.



Stage 3:

Stage 3 is the first of the 4 hilly stages. The bunch was packed together on the final uphill sprint, with Tiernan-Locke winning the stage. Kinney was just beaten by Taborre for second at +20.



Stage 4:

A hilly stage but apparently not hilly enough to drop Manarelli. Unfortunately he was used in the chase so wasted a lot of energy. He could only sprint to fourth place.



Stage 5:

A group of 6 won nearly 1 and a half minutes on this stage. Unfortunately none of the Minions were present.

Stage 6:

Back to a flat stage. After missing out on two occasions, Manarelli was determined to prove himself in front of the home crowd. We gave him a good rolling sprint train and he managed to finish the job! Stage victory!



Stage 7:

Manarelli is now wearing the points jersey, which is actually for Geschke but he can't wear it since he's leading the GC. The new color did not diminish his performing standard, not at all in fact. He won another stage!



Stage 8:

A small group of riders, including Kinney, rode away on the final hills. He finished eight and secured sixth place in the GC. Milan and Weiss can be found in the lower points-scoring positions.

Classification:

Pos.	Rider	Team	Time
1	Simon Geschke	Löbauer Stadtwerke - Etixx	30h05'47
2	Jonathan Tiernan-Locke	cycleYorkshire s/b ASDA-Savers	+ 14
3	Simon Yates	Podium Ambition	+ 29
4	Michael Rodriguez Galindo	World Cycling Centre	+ 43
5	Fabio Taborre	New Balance	+ 1'48
6	Nick Kinney	Chiquita - Universal	+ 1'58
17	Diego Milan	Chiquita - Universal	+ 4'59
18	Ethan Weiss	Chiquita - Universal	+ 5'14
32	Gracjan Lejman	Chiquita - Universal	+ 7'35
49	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	Chiquita - Universal	+ 12'10
51	Darren Matthews	Chiquita - Universal	+ 12'33
82	Nervin Jiatz	Chiquita - Universal	+ 16'22
110	Jay Major	Chiquita - Universal	+ 32'05

Rider rankings:

Pos.	Rider	Points
1	Yasmani Martinez	303
2	Nick Kinney	257
3	Damion Drapac	175
4	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	173
5	Kenny De Haes	144
6	Diego Milan	104
7	Leandro Marcos	100
8	Darren Matthews	87
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39
10	Ethan Weiss	28
11	Chris Barton	26
12	Gracjan Lejman	26
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18
14	Mark Griffth	11
15	Jakob Rathe	10
16	Edwin Avila	8
17	Nervin Jiatz	4
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2
19	Jay Major	0

Rating:



What a way to finish off the season!

The final race has been raced, the season is over and the final rankings are published. Over the season we haven't paid much attention to the rankings, only mentioning that we were in a fierce battle for the promotion spots. Let's see how we did then. Unfortunately we can't provide you with fancy graphs and detailed statistics because our budget has dried up, instead we will provide the big wall of text.

Predictions

Let's look first at the predictions. A statistician predicted we would finish either third or forth given his complicated mathmatical formula no one could understand. Other so-called experts who would rather trust their own eyes and mind rather than a nerd with a notepad and a calculator, were less favourable, with predictions ranging from seventh to eleventh. They all did see a vast improvement over the last seasons.

Mid-February

The first update was released mid-february, after we had only raced 3 races. Despite them not being our best races, we were fifth with 134 points.

1		Schuh powered by Wiggle	209
2		Ferrero - Samruk	186
3		La Poste - Mavic	163
5		Chiquita - Universal	134

End-March

After our succesful Tour of the Middle East and Martinez's GC win in Southland, we were expected to make a jump in the rankings. We even moved into a podium position, second only behind Podium Ambition.

1	6		Podium Ambition	553
2	5		Chiquita - Universal	528
3	10		Kraftwerk Man Machine	497

End-May

In the months of April and May were very quiet for us with not a lot of racing, and when we did it was not for the top spots. Hence we dropped a lot, even outside the promotion spots in eighth.

1	3		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1115
2	4		Ferrero - Samruk	857
3	1		Podium Ambition	812
8	2		Chiquita - Universal	591

End-June

One month later and what a difference. In our busiest month we won two stages in Danmark Rundt and one in Giro del Capo, and with some other minor classifications we moved up to third place, 1 point above the 1000 points threshold.

1	1		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1258
2	3		Podium Ambition	1224
3	8		Chiquita - Universal	1001

End-July

We were overtaken by Ferrero but we could live with that, still inside the promotion spots. What's worrying though is Carlsberg, who is only 7 points behind them, and behind them teams like Isostar and La Poste who have more racedays left. The last three months will be nailbiting.

1	1		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1544
2	2		Podium Ambition	1417
3	4		Ferrero - Samruk	1360
4	3		Chiquita - Universal	1114
5	6		Carlsberg - Danske Bank	1107

End-August

No movement amongst the top five, but we nearly doubled the gap to Carlsberg: from 7 to 13.

1	1		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1655
2	2		Podium Ambition	1518
3	3		Ferrero - Samruk	1514
4	4		Chiquita - Universal	1275
5	5		Carlsberg - Danske Bank	1262

End-September

The gap has been extended to 30 points now. Unfortunately the teams ahead of us are too far away to challenge, but the teams below the promotion line appear not to be catching us. It will be a battle for fourth place between Carlsberg and Chiquita with one month to go!

1	3		Ferrero - Samruk	1870
2	1		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1750
3	2		Podium Ambition	1667
4	4		Chiquita - Universal	1379
5	5		Carlsberg - Danske Bank	1349

End-October

Tour du Faso went shite for us and good for Carlsberg, and they virtually overtook us in the rankings. Then we had an amazing Ruta America del Sur with 2 stage victories, and as they didn't race there we re-overtook them. The Danes couldn't gather enough points in the final race of the season, and therefore we finished fourth and will promote to the PCT. Ferrero won the title ahead of Podium Ambition and Kraftwerk Man Machine.

1		Ferrero - Samruk	1996
2		Podium Ambition	1907
3		Kraftwerk Man Machine	1783
4		Chiquita - Universal	1515
5		Carlsberg - Danske Bank	1439
6		MOL - OMV Petrom	1346
7		Isostar - Adriatic	1261
8		Team Ticos Air Costa Rica	1153
9		La Poste - Mavic	1144
10		Sauber Petronas Racing	1071
11		Xero Racing p/b Octagon	1058
12		cycleYorkshire s/b ASDA-Savers	1035
13		New Balance	985
14		World Cycling Centre	900
15		The Spark Project p/b Bollé	841
16		KAYAK - Clas Ohlsen	825
17		TVM - Beslist.nl	739
18		Schuh powered by Wiggle	710
19		Elta - Hellenic Post	705
20		Löbauer Stadtwerke - Etixx	622
21		Fox Sports - BikeNZ Cycling	536
22		Eddie Stobart	427
23		Hankook - Ping An Bank	249
24		Vivacom - DataMap	205

Part two of our post-season formalities. After the rankings comes a quick overview of the 10 months which composed this cycling season:

Winter

But let's start at the winter. Most notably we had a managerial change, with Sir Kevin replacing Dave as general manager. We welcomed some new riders, most noticably our first two real sprinters (because let's face it, Bahati and Tolleson weren't) in Drapac and Manarelli, and even assembled a little cobbles squad. The rest remained largely the same.

January

The season got off to a great start with Drapac winning the Bay Cycling Classics, unfortunately a non-championship round. Our first two actual races in Cuba and Australia were disappointing to say the least.

And to finish things off, Esmaeli was left in anger when we could only provide him with a limited amount of racedays.

February

The start of a successful month. The cobbles in the Benelux Challenghe were the first outings of our new line-up, with two top-10 finishes as result. Our first victory of the season though came a few days later in the Tour of the Middle East, when Sarmiento won after a late breakaway. A day later De Haes won the cobbled classic Geraardsbergen-Bosberg, and to make this week truly unforgettable Barton won a time trial in the Middle East. Honourable mention to our youngster De Leon for finishing fourth in San Marino Hill Classic.

Despite all the success, Gameloft withdrew as minor sponsor.

March

Martinez won a stage and the general classification in Tour of Southland, our first ever and our biggest result ever! Betonexpress GP was a total drama, and Tour of Bulgaria showed our major weakness: team time trials.

Illumination Entertainment would not renew their sponsor commitment and instead fund through Universal.

April

A flat classic in Busan with a 6th place for Drapac, an improvement after some bad showings. Our trip to Philadelphia in C1 was not a good gamble. Quiet month.

But then Universal Studios dropped the bomshell that they would quit at the end of the season.

May

Barcelona Classic was shocking, Tour of Scotland was shocking. Bad month, very bad.

No surprise the people of Guatemala came in uproar against the team's performances and the impact we had on the local population.

June

Busiest month of the season by far with 7 races. Two cobbles classics with Marcos finishing third in Lincoln GP. Drapac won a stage in Circulo de Juarez and finished second in the GC. Kinney and Manarelli both took a stage in Danmark Rundt, with the former as sixth in the GC. The latter also took second in Barbuda Birdman Classic. However, a good general classification in Giro del Capo was thrown away on the final stage due to bad positioning on a narrow road. And we took some points in Monterrey TTT, despite our inability to TTT.

"The Banana Lover" Esmaeli made up his mind and left the team in anger.

July

Tour of Pologne always has been a special race for us. Last year Kinney won a stage, now Manarelli. Unfortunately the top-5 goal wasn't achieved. Our win goal in Volcan de Agua Classic also wasn't achieved, but we can blame it on the pressure of the race being in Guatemala and the crowd against us. Tour of Slovenia has nothing special to mention.

But we must mention Chiquita who will withdraw sponsorship, leaving us without funding for next season.

August

A top 5 goal in USAPCC was achieved by Martinez, winning the TT in the process. De Haes was just beaten by Thomas in CCBTGP. We like abbreviations.

In Guatemala, the situation got out of hand, so much so that we had to evacute and go back to the States.

September

A sixth place for in Acropolis Cup and a ninth place in GP Yekaterinburg for Kinney. In Herald Sun Tour the cooperation between Avila, Drapac and Manarelli was poor at times, but it did bring us a stage victory for the Brazilian.

We now managed the team from a carton box after being refused by everyone who might give us shelter.

October

Faso was shit, but Manarelli put us back in fourth with two stage victories in his home race Ruta America del Sur. Kinney finished sixth in that GC in our final race of the season. In the end it was enough to see us promoted to PCT.

But the only remaining question is: what will happen next season?

At the end of every season we host a fancy award ceremony for outstanding performances from the last season. However we couldn't afford to hold a ceremony, buy awards and invite guests this year due to our 'situation'. We would however give some thumbs up and thumbs down based on statistical data.

Rider awards:
Based on the final rankings

Pos.	Rider	Points	RD	Wage	PPRD	$PP
1	Yasmani Martinez	303	50	120000	6,06	396
2	Nick Kinney	257	58	120000	4,43	467
3	Damion Drapac	175	54	60000	3,24	343
4	Carlos Alexandre Manarelli	173	58	50000	2,98	289
5	Kenny De Haes	144	41	50000	3,51	347
6	Diego Milan	104	58	70000	1,79	673
7	Leandro Marcos	100	42	65000	2,38	650
8	Darren Matthews	87	58	50000	1,50	575
9	Jhonnatan De Leon	39	41	50000	0,95	1282
10	Ethan Weiss	28	64	50000	0,44	1786
11	Chris Barton	26	42	50000	0,62	1923
12	Gracjan Lejman	26	43	60000	0,60	2308
13	Cayetano Sarmiento	18	42	65000	0,43	3611
14	Mark Griffth	11	41	50000	0,27	4545
15	Jakob Rathe	10	41	50000	0,24	5000
16	Edwin Avila	8	58	50000	0,14	6250
17	Nervin Jiatz	4	76	50000	0,05	12500
18	Tareq Esmaeli	2	17	50000	0,12	25000
19	Jay Major	0	76	55000	0,00	NaN

Rider of the year:

It's hard not to give this award to Yasmani Martinez, our top scorer of the season and the first to win a general classification in our colours.

Honorable mentions: Kenny De Haes, Damion Drapac, Nick Kinney, Carlos Alexandre Manarelli

New rider of the year:

A tough one, because places 3-13 are all new riders on the squad. I'd be inclined to call it a three-way tie between, Kenny De Haes, Damion Drapac and Carlos Alexandre Manarelli, because they all contributed to our promotion. Since we don't have an actual award I can just give it to all three and not have to slice something in three parts.

Honorable mentions: Leandro Marcos, Darren Matthews, Diego Milan

Surprise rider of the year:

Jhonnathan De Leon outscoring some serious names on his first season in the world of cycling at 23 years of age. And his surprise fourth place in San Marino Hill Classic is enough to declare him the winner.

Honorable mention: Leandro Marcos

Most disappointing rider of the year:

Going up from the bottom: Jay Major scored no points but he's here for talent development. Tareq Esmaeli only had 17 racedays so can't be called a disappointment certainly given his 'situation'. Nervin Jiatz is not technically ours so giving him the award is weird. Edwin Avila might be expected higher given his abilities but he was used as leadout for our two main sprinters. Jakob Rathe is only our fourth cobbler. Mark Griffith scored points which is a miracle in itself. Cayetano Sarmiento won a stage in the Middle East, as did Chris Barton. So I guess we'll give it to Gracjan Lejman then.

Honorable mention: Ethan Weiss (but he had few opportunities given our puncheurs squad)

Race awards:
Based on the banana ratings

Best race of the year:
Five bananas

Nominees: Geraardsbergen-Bosberg, Tour of Southland, Post Danmark Rundt, Ruta America del Sur

Winner: Tour of Southland, our biggest victory ever

Worst race of the year:
One banana

Nominees: Clasico San Cristobal, Betonexpressz GP, Philadelphia International Championship, Barcelona Classic, Volcan de Agua Classic, Tour du Faso

Winner: Volcan de Agua Classic, the downfall in front of our home crowd