Returning from last year, but one stage being cut. If my memory functions correctly this race was one of our worst last season, with Martinez crahsing. Due to the band system we have to race here again.
Profiles:
Three sprinters stages, a puncheurs stage and a mountain stage to decide the GC.
Team:
Edwin Avila Chris Barton Nervin Jiatz Nick Kinney Carlos Alexandre Manarelli Yasmani Martinez Diego Milan Cayetano Sarmiento
Manarelli for the first part, Kinney for the middle and Martinez to finish the GC off. Five stage wins?
Stage 1:
Magnusson from KAYAK won from the break, Manarelli ninth in the peleton sprint. Four stage wins propably?
Stage 2:
Rodriguez Galindo from WCC was better than Kinney, the latter finishing eight for one single point. Three stage wins then?
Stage 3:
Salleh won the sprint for Sauber, Manarelli fifth. Two stage wins maybe?
Stage 4:
Lampier the Yorkshireman won from the break with our riders apparently eaten alive by the Loch Ness Monster. One stage win please?
Stage 5:
Pomoshnikov won the mountain stage and the GC for MOL. Martinez tenth in the stage and the GC. No stage win it is though.
Classification:
Pos.
Rider
Team
Time
1
Sergei Pomoshnikov
MOL - OMW Petrom
20h02'50
2
Mark Dowling
Schuh powered by Wiggle
+ 55
3
Serghei Tvetcov
cycleYorkshire s/b ASDA-Savers
+ 1'14
4
Andriy Khripta
New Balance
+ 1'17
5
Igor Antón
Isostar - Adriatic
+ 1'35
10
Yasmani Martinez
Chiquita - Universal
+ 4'06
25
Nick Kinney
Chiquita - Universal
+ 8'13
28
Diego Milan
Chiquita - Universal
+ 9'09
35
Cayetano Sarmiento
Chiquita - Universal
+ 10'27
46
Chris Barton
Chiquita - Universal
+ 12'54
51
Edwin Avila
Chiquita - Universal
+ 14'28
62
Nervin Jiatz
Chiquita - Universal
+ 19'20
97
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Chiquita - Universal
+ 30'59
Rider rankings:
Pos.
Rider
Points
1
Yasmani Martinez
176
2
Kenny De Haes
81
3
Leandro Marcos
64
4
Damion Drapac
54
5
Darren Matthews
46
6
Jhonnatan De Leon
38
7
Nick Kinney
36
8
Diego Milan
33
9
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
18
10
Cayetano Sarmiento
15
11
Chris Barton
11
12
Mark Griffth
8
13
Ethan Weiss
4
14
Gracjan Lejman
3
15
Edwin Avila
2
16
Tareq Esmaeli
2
Rating:
I'd rather eat haggis than returning to this race ever again.
It was a normal day at the Minions HQ in Guatemala City. Sir Kevin was behind his desk, the other Minions were doing the usual stuff as well, giving up on their administrative work and instead eating bananas and making jokes with their co-workers. Suddenly, a rock came flying through the window. Luckily no one got injured. A note was attached to the rock: saying: "Minions out!"
When Sir Kevin looked out of his window, he saw a mob of protesters outside the building. They were holding signs like: "Bananas are ours", "Minions go back to America", "We don't need no banana-stealing yellow single-celled organisms", and "Sir Kevin sucks". He got outside and tried to calm the riot, but only made it worse. He was violently attacked by the protesters, but luckily the local police could prevent any serious injuries. The riots continued until the police ended it with force that evening. The headquarters is now permanently secured by Guatemalan secret agents.
In a statement, Sir Kevin has called for peace and understanding. A spokesman for the protesters explained the situation: “The Minions take away all our precious bananas for their own secret activities and rider wages who could easily be paid in normal currencies. We will no longer take this and demand action by the Minions management and Sir Kevin in particular.”
The first race in the busy month of June takes us to East Germany.
Profile:
To quote a television reporter: "I have no idea who came up with this cruel idea for a race.".
Team:
Edwin Avila Kenny De Haes Mark Griffith Nervin Jiatz Jay Major Leandro Marcos Darren Matthews Jakob Rathe
The cobblestones quartet is back in action. De Haes won Geraardsbergen earlier this season but this should suit him more. Matthews should also have a shot at this race. Marcos is here but he prefers hillier paved sections, and Rathe is back-up plan.
Race:
Thomas rode away on the final cobble section and took away the race victory. De Haes was our only rider in the 20-men chase group. He would finish ninth. Matthews and Marcos also took away points in 22nd and 25th respectively, whereas Rathe finishd just outside the points in 26th.
We've now had a victory in every possible area except team time trials (which will probably never happen). However, our only sprinting victory was in the unofficial Bay Cycling Classics in the pre-season. Time to change that!
Damion Drapac sprints to victory in stage four of the Circulo de Juarez!
Narrow roads in a small English town, recipe for a hectic race
Team:
Kenny De Haes Jhonnatan De Leon Nick Kinney Gracjan Lejman Leandro Marcos Darren Matthews Diego Milan Jakob Rathe
It's the cobblestones quartet with the hilly trio, and De Leon because we could send eight riders. Marcos seems to be our best bet for a good result.
Race:
We elected to not send someone in the morning break and instead help with the chase. With 20 kilometres to go Rathe powered to the front and caused a rift in the peleton, with Marcos and Matthews on the good side of things.
Marcos was feeling good today and when the finale got underway, he was chasing down the lead group. He was in a five-man group which would battle it out for victory. Pozzato was the strongest, and Marcos finished on the final podium spot. De Haes, Matthews, Kinney and Rathe also finished in points scoring position, the first points of the season for the latter.
Last year this was a goal race but with no sprinter. This year it's no goal race but with sprinters in the squad.
Profiles:
It can't get much flatter than this.
Team:
Edwin Avila Damion Drapac Tareq Esmaeli Mark Griffith Nervin Jiatz Jay Major Carlos Alexandre Manarelli Cayetano Sarmiento
And we bring the three sprinters. Avila, Drapac, Manarelli can decide amongst themselves who will be the final pawn. Also the second race of the season and possibly final race ever for Esmaeli.
Stage 1:
First of five mass sprints. Drapac well positioned but faded away to fourth place. The others nowhere to be seen.
Stage 2:
Worse position this time around, resulting in seventh place. Manarelli 78th, showing Drapac is superior here.
Stage 3:
Disorganized due to a gust of wind. Everyone outside points scoring positions.
Stage 4:
Great positioning, great power, great stamina, great finishing, great Drapac.
Stage 5:
Jiatz in the break, scoring one point in the KoM classification. It could've been two stage wins in a row but Drapac went a bit too early but would hang on to third place. His last two stages moved him up to second place in the GC.
For those not familiar with strange Nordic languages it means something like Postal Tour of Denmark. So it's in Denmark, and it's a tour, and I have no idea what the mail has to do with anthing.
Profiles:
If you paid attention in geography class you should know there are no mountains in Denmark. There appears to be a hill on stage four though.
Team:
Edwin Avila Kenny De Haes Damion Drapac Nick Kinney Gracjan Lejman Jay Major Diego Milan Ethan Weiss
GC lead is for Kinney, but due to the final time trial we don't think he can challenge for the victory. With three flat sprinters stages Drapac is amongst our key riders after coming home with a victory from Mexico.
Stage 1:
He was placed on the back of CycleYorkshires train, and he got out of their wheel at the perfect time. Stage win and leaders jersey for Drapac!
Stage 2:
Slightly worse positioning, finishing fourth and losing the leaders jersey by one second to Nelson.
Stage 3:
De Haes was in the break for the hilly stage, but was caught. After an early attempt by Lejman to wear out the opponents, Kinney pulled the decisive move and took another stage victory and also retaking the leaders jersey!
Stage 4:
In the break again, hunting for mountain points was De Haes, who will finish third in said classification. He was caught just before the line and finished in eight, ahead of our other sprinters.
Stage 5:
With a minimal lead going into the TT, Kinney couldn't hang on to the lead and dropped to sixth, which is still a great result for this race though.
A new Carribean race on the C2 calendar. A must race for us.
Profile:
Flat, with the only form of obstacle being the gravel roads.
Team:
Kenny De Haes Jhonnatan De Leon Mark Griffith Jay Major Carlos Alexandre Manarelli Leandro Marcos Darren Matthews Jakob Rathe
Our Australian sprinter had other obligations in South Africa, so instead our Brazilian sprinter Manarelli leads the way, supported by a strong train and some locals.
Race:
As expected the race was only worth watching for the final kilometers. Manarelli was well positioned at the front and at one point was leading the sprint before being overtaken by Kip. But no one else could overtake him as well, so he finished in second position.
June is far from over, another six-stage race to cover now.
Profiles:
Two flat stages which aren't really flat, then two stages which aren't really hilly, a mountain time trial for the lolz and a hilly stage to finish things off. This race is weird.
Team:
Edwin Avila Chris Barton Damion Drapac Nervin Jiatz Gracjan Lejman Yasmani Martinez Diego Milan Ethan Weiss
Martinez will lead due to the mountain TT, while Lejman and Milan and Weiss will target the hilly stages. Drapac is sprint leader on paper but the profiles might be suited more for Avila. Barton might snatch a second TT victory and Jiatz is here for delevopment.
Stage 1:
The hill before the end made it an ideal stage for Avila, finishing third on the stage and second in the bunch sprint because Tusveld rode out front. Drapac surprisingly well in sixth.
Stage 2:
Drapac was played out today, and while he was in a good position he had to take the outside line in the final corner, effectively ruining his chance at a top result. Sixth again.
Stage 3:
Barton went into the break with Maccagli and took the lead in the KoM classification. Martinez our best finisher in 11th losing no time on the victor.
Stage 4:
No rider in the break, with Pozzo now tied with Barton for the polka dots. Martinez finished fourth in the selected bunch sprint, and is now the prime contender for overall victory due to his climbing/time trialing ability.
Stage 5:
Barton was en route early due to lost time in the previous stages. His time would only be beaten by Anton and Kasa.
In his Cuban NC, Martinez just had to ride up the mountain to gain the lead. He did ride a decent time, finishing fifth, but Cortes had the ride of his life to hold on to the leader's jersey by four seconds.
Stage 6:
Zoidl took the mountains classification from the break which included Weiss. Then Martinez was dropped on a narrow road which dropped him to ninth, but Milan stood up and took 4th place in the GC. And we won the team classification. Then I woke up and realised it was a nightmare.
But it turned out it was some kind of vision. Weiss was again in the break, even finishing fifth on the stage, but Zoidl also came out as victor in the mountains classification. Then Martinez dropped in similar fashion, now going down to 11th. Milan finished fifth instead fourth, and we didn't win team classification. I wish I never woke up.
We can't really do well here, but free points guaranteed.
Profile:
Long and lumpy, not much else to say.
Team:
Chris Barton Jhonnatan De Leon Mark Griffith Nervin Jiatz Nick Kinney Yasmani Martinez Darren Matthews Ethan Weiss
Apparently these are our eight best time trialists. We wish them best of luck.
Race:
Only eleven teams entered this race, so we were guaranteed 15 points at the beginning. Out of these eleventh we finished ninth, as second in the CT behind Fox Sports, and 1'25 behind winners Generali. We scored twenty points with absolutely no effort.
Earlier this year we reported on the situation with Tareq Esmaeli, who only has 17 race days allocated to his tally this season and was clearly unhappy. We wanted to keep him within the team and continue his great contribution on and off the bike as one of our most beloved cyclists. Unfortunately, the Qatari has decided to leave the team with immediate effect. We feared and even expected this was coming.
Esmaeli is the current Qatari national champion in both the road race and the time trial, being the only professional rider from that country at the moment. This year he participated in his home race, Tour of the Middle East, where he finished 38th in the GC, featured in two breakaways and scored a fifth place on stage two. He also participated in the Circulo the Juarez, anonymously. Over the past two years he has shown his white and brown colours of Qatar in many breakaways and at the front of the peloton. Now, however, it’s time to say goodbye.
We want to thank Tareq for his contribution over the past two years and wish him all the best in the remainder of his career. We hope he can sign with a team where can revibe his passion and ride with a smile on his face again. For us it means we have lost the banana lover and have to search for a new cult hero to head our commercial activities.
Last year Kinney won a stage in the Tour of Pologne. He couldn't repeat that feat this year or succeed in our goal, which was a top 5 in the GC. But on the final stage...
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli took his first victory of the season!
Last year Kinney won a stage here, so we return here with good faith. So much faith that we have an official goal here: get into the top five of the general classification. A stage win will make us happy too but the goal is important.
Profiles:
A mix of long, flat stages and hilly stages.
Team:
Nervin Jiatz Nick Kinney Gracjan Lejman Carlos Alexandre Manarelli Leandro Marcos Darren Matthews Diego Milan Ethan Weiss
It's a home race for Lejman but he'll have to share leadership with Kinney and Milan. Manarelli will target the sprint stages but doesn't have much support.
Stage 1:
Anonymous ride, but our leaders were included in the big bunch which crossed the line fist.
Stage 2:
Marcos went into the break and was the last to be caught only a few kilometers before the line. Manarelli was horribly positioned and finished outside the top ten.
Stage 3:
Kinney finished tenth but lost nearly a minute to his nearest rivals. Lejman and Milan were a group further down the road.
Stage 4:
Another flat stage for Manarelli, and he was much better positioned this time thanks to the hard work of Matthews. Unfortunately he couldn't get his wheel across the line first, but only Soupe could beat him.
Stage 5:
This time our riders were awake and went with the other favourites. Kinney and Lejman finished seventh and eight, with the former now at ninth in the GC. Four places needed to achieve the goal.
Stage 6:
Into the break was again Marcos, but he was caught much sooner this time. He would finish seventh in the mountains classification. Again no time differences between the favourites so Kinney couldn't move up in the GC despite finishing seventh on the stage.
Stage 7:
The last stage was flat as you like and wouldn't have any impact on the GC. Official goal failed, but the unofficial stage win goal was still up for grabs if Manarelli has a perfect day. The last man standing from the breakaway was caught under the flamme rouge, and the Brazilian was on fire. He won by some margin to salvage something from the race.
Guatemalan race. Win goal. Angry supporters. A bad race and we're in deep shit.
Profile:
Made by the devil himself.
Team:
Chris Barton Jhonnatan De Leon Mark Griffith Nervin Jiatz Jay Major Yasmani Martinez Diego Milan Cayetano Sarmiento
Martinez is leader, but he's more a stage racer than a pure climber so it will be a tough race for him against tough opposition.
Race:
The only picture we got from this race where we looked kinda acceptable was when Martinez went into the chase after Garby and Anton.
He finished twelfth, and the race was won by someone from the break. One positive point: everyone finished the race. Even Griffith, even Major, although the latter took nearly an hour longer than the winner.
A country in Southern Europe hosting a five-day stage race.
Profiles:
It looks absolutely flat but somehow two stages are rated hilly. And another flat stage is a time trial, leaving only two stages for the sprinters.
Team:
Mark Griffith Nervin Jiatz Nick Kinney Gracjan Lejman Carlos Alexandre Manarelli Darren Matthews Diego Milan Ethan Weiss
For the sprints it's Manarelli's turn to take charge. Kinney is GC leader but due to his lack in time-trialing ability he won't be a major favourite. Griffith is our best time-triallist but he gets dropped on a speedbump.
Stage 1:
Disorganized sprint with a wasted opportunity for Manarelli. Definitely expected better than 13th.
Stage 2:
The somewhat hilly stage in which there unfortunately where no timegaps amongst the first riders. Kinney finished fourth on the stage but couldn't gain valuable time for the GC.
Stage 3:
Griffith was amongst the first to start because he unsurprisingly struggled yesterday. As the first of the specialist he sat in the hot seat for a long time until a certain Russian smashed his time. In the end he finished seventh, which is still a respectable result.
Stage 4:
We send a rider into the break. It was Griffith, and inside a small village with one speedbump he was dropped from the group and returned to the peloton. That same break actually survived and fought it out for stage victory.
Stage 5:
Final stage included a few small hills. Kinney finished fourth again, this time getting a time difference but only a small one to move him up to finish in 14th place in the GC.
With great regret we have to announce that Chiquita is no longer possible to fund our cycling team. The board of directors made the decision to drop the team this morning and this caught us, and the rest of the world, with great surprise. This means that all four sponsors have withdrawn within the space of half a year. Things certainly aren't going very well for the Minions.
After the recent uproar in Guatemala, Chiquita had to cut costs in order to keep the prices of bananas within a reasonable price. Unfortunately, this means they cannot allocate funds to sponsor a cycling team. This is their official reason, but behind the screens it has been rumoured that Chiquita has chosen the side of the protesters and has dropped the cycling team in order to put additional pressure on them to leave the country. It remains to be seen whether or not this rumour is true. For now, the Minions have decided to stay in their headquarters.
We have no sponsors for next season. Our future doesn't look bright, but we'll do everything we can to sort out our problems, search for new sponsors and start having success within the world of cycling. Minions don’t give up that easily, not when you stimulate them with a banana or a babble or a but joke. Minions will continue to fight or the team’s future!
Edwin Avila
Chris Barton
Nervin Jiatz
Carlos Alexandre Manarelli
Yasmani Martinez
Diego Milan
Kenny De Haes
Damion Drapac
Darren Matthews
Gracjan Lejman
Tareq Esmaeli
Jay Major
